Arts & Culture

Imagine stepping into a giddy nightmare where a silver-wigged dude and a lady with pantyhose pulled over her face plan to cast you as the hermaphrodite lead in their trash cinema epic. The unwritten script involves anarchy, lots of chocolate pudding, green-screen technology, urine games, scorched software, TV on DVD…

Almost every day, you wake up at noon, chomp down a big bowl of Cap’n Crunch, and watch a few hours of trash TV. Then you invariably skip your midday shower and forget to shave while bumming around the house in an old pair of unwashed sweatpants, stanky poncho, and…

Surely you’re familiar with the cheap pick-up line “I think we’ve met before.” Now, if the person is so convinced he has, in fact, met you before and insists repeatedly, does that make it the truth? In Alain Resnais’s film Last Year at Marienbad, three characters find themselves trapped inside…

Perhaps confusing high office with an extended benefit concert, Wyclef Jean has decide to run for president of Haiti. But Clef, seriously, the country needs more than your soothing rendition of “No Woman No Cry.” So remember what’s at stake in Haitian politics with a classic piece of Kreyol literature,…

With the brutally beautiful swells of “Siegfried’s Funeral March” swooping around inside your skull, it can be easy to forget composer-philosopher Richard Wagner’s less glorious moments. For example, there was the time his second wife, Cosima, caught him saying, “All Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan the…

If you’ve been to a neighborhood pachanga, imbibed lots of refajo, and danced bachata until dawn, you know that Colombians know how to party. Apparently, those lovable South American scamps also know how to throw down some sweet, orchestral maneuvers in the dark. Orquesta Filarmónica de Bogotá, led by Colombian…

Put on your pasties and step right up for a never-before-seen performance where vintage, vaudeville burlesque meets the King of Rock and Roll. This Saturday at 10 p.m., just five days after the 33rd anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death, local striptease troupe Shameless Burlesque and Presley imitator Randy “Elvis” Walker…

If your bookshelf is vibrating, it’s because we’re hurtling toward high literary season with Miami Book Fair International just three months away. We’ve been building up our endurance at Miami Squares poetry nights and Hialeah Haikus readings, and we’re hitting up every open-mike night in town. Next up is Writers…

Like all TV junkies, we get high just watching Bravo’s infinite number of reality shows. And the side effects are virtually the same as cheap meth. It wastes our time and money and contributes to brain rot. But really, can anyone help loving Rachel Zoe’s terrible vocabulary or the complete…

How awesome would it have been if comedian Demetri Martin were our fifth-grade teacher? Maybe then we would’ve grown up to be entertaining, witty, and interesting. But instead, God gave us Mr. Wiener, a bald jerk with a lazy eye who seemed to hate children almost as much as he…

One would imagine that the Latino-themed Maya Indie Film Series bases its name on the Mesoamerican civilization revered for its awesome art, mad math skills, mind-blowing pyramids, and complex astronomical systems. Or maybe it’s rooted in the Sanskrit word maya, which describes the human tendency to accept illusions as reality…

The beginning of the 2010 baseball season was filled with so much promise for Florida Marlins fans. They had legitimate up-and-coming stars such as Hanley Ramirez and Josh Johnson. They had reigning NL Rookie of the Year Chris Coghlan. The ownership even boldly predicted a playoff berth for the Fish…

With the opening of O Cinema in Wynwood and the Coral Gables Art Cinema, Miami will soon have twice as many independent movie theaters. In the meantime, film festivals are still your best chance to see indie foreign flicks. So invade the Colony Theatre this Thursday for three gritty movies…

With the opening of O Cinema in Wynwood and the Coral Gables Art Cinema, Miami will soon have twice as many independent movie theaters. In the meantime, film festivals are still your best chance to see indie foreign flicks. So invade the Colony Theatre this Thursday for three gritty movies…

In 1960, experimental composer John Cage went on the TV show I’ve Got a Secret to make music with a mechanical fish, a rubber duck, a water pitcher, and ice cubes. The presenter warned Cage that although the audience was a friendly crowd, some of them weren’t going to laugh…

Whether you’ve seen her on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, Chelsea Lately, or VH1’s oddly addictive I Love the ’70s/’80s/’90s series, comedian Loni Love has been part of your pop culture channel surfing. In the early days of her comedy career, she was defeated on Star Search, which further…

In the ’80s, Miguel Paredes came of age as a New York City tagger, and he has used his graffiti background as the launching pad for a successful career in the world of high art. Though clearly grounded in the concepts of street art, Paredes is a versatile stylist with…

South Beach loves to glamorize social decay, so it isn’t surprising that Amsterdam’s red-light district, De Wallen, has gotten the SoBe spit-polish treatment. The area, arguably a cesspool of criminal gang activity and human trafficking, is brought to life — minus any actual prostitution — when De Wallen Rouge brings…

Call us old fashioned, but we still insist on pumping out a print issue every week. We like smear newsprint ink under our eyes and shoot paperclips at each other until they shut off the lights and AC. We had to stop such war games last week, though, when Leroy…

At this point, everybody knows that if you’re into hardcore squid porn or any other kind of fetish involving schoolgirls, seafood, and SM, then you’ve gotta go to Japan. This East Asian island nation is the world’s leading purveyor of perverted shit and it’s no wonder their penchant for depravity…

Everyone from Shakespeare to Stephen King has been rehashing these female stereotypes archetypes, so we weren’t surprised when we also found them in Miami’s street murals. To the uninitiated, these graffiti gals might look like a blur of T&A, but we’re here to point out the telling subtleties. 1. The…