[jump] Dear Boyfriend Beater, Define normal for me. What’s normal to you may seem totally bizarre to others. Take me for example, pissing on a guy’s face — normal. Kicking somebody in the nuts until they turn black — normal. Shoving a pencil-sized metal rod in a man’s urethra and…
[jump] Name: TiffanyOccupation: Art StudentDescribe your style: Very laid backWhere are you from: ChinaWhat music do you like? Electronic, ambient…
Almost every day, you wake up at noon, chomp down a big bowl of Cap’n Crunch, and watch a few hours of trash TV. Then you invariably skip your midday shower and forget to shave while bumming around the house in an old pair of unwashed sweatpants, stanky poncho, and…
This Thursday night, a variety show called the Millionaire Tramps Vaudeville Debut lands at Churchill’s Pub with Dangerfun!’s handpicked selection of South Florida tramps. Settle in for some stand-up and sketch comedy by Skitsations, slapstick jugglers, bunnies pulled from top hats, and the wiggles and jiggles of Hellion Burlesque. For…
Call us unoriginal. Call us hacks. Call us whatever you want. But when it’s election day darn it, we’re going to talk politics … Kind of. In honor of our constitutional privilege and responsibility, Cultist is throwing up our favorite ten election movies of all time. Admit it, you’d rather…
In the ’80s, Miguel Paredes came of age as a New York City tagger, and he has used his graffiti background as the launching pad for a successful career in the world of high art. Though clearly grounded in the concepts of street art, Paredes is a versatile stylist with…
Bad Girls Club Miami is the gift that keeps on giving. With so many fights, drunken moments, and girls with daddy issues, it forces us to tune in week after week. And just when you think it can’t get any better/worse: It’s about to.Listen up, Bad Girl fans: The house…
In its ever rotating cast of administrators, the Miami International Film Festival has named a new director, Jaie Laplante. The last director Tiziana Finzi’s contract was not renewed with little explanation as to why, just a phoned-in “caio.” Her 2010 programming included big hits like The Secret in Their Eyes,…
Think Miami for a second. What comes to mind? The beaches, Art Deco, that played-out Miami Vice font, La Carreta on SW Eighth Street, and dare we say Romero Britto. Unfortunately, that’s some of what passes for branding in our city. And that sound you hear is the collective dry…
Did you hear the news? Break out your best ill-fitted, shabby clothing because according to the New York Times, the Elaine Benes look is back! We’re not too sure if the Seinfeld star’s look was ever in vogue, but considering we’re coming down from an ’80s revival high — complete…
South Beach is a great place to pretend you’re someone you’re not. You wanna be a hoochie? Hit up a club on Washington. You’re a burgeoning cougar? Get down to the sand and display your newest boob job. Pretending you’re a baller? There’s a stretch Hummer waiting for you outside…
Coconut Grove resident and former Miami Seaquarium trainer Ric O’Barry recently starred in the Oscar-winning documentary The Cove, which captured the fight to stop dolphin slaughter in Japan. It was brutal to watch, from the sonic-bullying bangs of Japanese fisherman, to hearing O’Barry describe how Flipper committed suicide in his…
Living in South Beach — the world capitol of bad techno music — it was a pleasant change to head over the causeway to the Vagabond for a night of ’50s nostalgia. At Saturday’s Shameless Burlesque’s Elvis Tribute, twenty-something hipsters jived on the dancefloor to Fats Domino and hugged their…
[jump] Name: Brik. Occupation: Member of Music Is a Weapon. Describe your style in three words: Punk, metal, reggae. What are you doing tonight? Drinking, playing with my band at Respectable Street. How tall is your mohawk? 12 inches…
Put on your pasties and step right up for a never-before-seen performance where vintage, vaudeville burlesque meets the King of Rock and Roll. Tomorrow night, just five days after the 33rd anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death, local striptease troupe Shameless Burlesque and Presley imitator Randy “Elvis” Walker will pay horny…
FridayStarting today, the Maya Indie Film Series brings cinema Latina to West Dade’s Regal 18. See Trópico de Sangre — a Dominican historical biopic starring Michelle Rodriguez — and Backyard, a Mexican thriller about the Juárez femicides starring Jimmy Smits.Promoting Jewish-on-Jewish nuptials, Real Housewife of New York, Jill Zarin, will…
After almost three decades of abysmally shitty console-to-screen adaptations, can we please agree that movies based on video games are a terrible, terrible, terrible idea? From Super Mario Bros. through Prince of Persia, the genre is nothing more than a giant, gaping suckhole of commercial and critical failure. So why are…
In part one of Cultist’s interview with Demetri Martin, you learned the salacious truth about the Jersey joker and his young, eager groupies. “The closest thing I have to a groupie is a teenage guy who wants to be a comedian and wants to talk about being a comedian,” Mr…
Florida may have given women the right to vote 50 years after the 19th amendment was ratified, but there’s, ahem, one front where South Florida can consider itself progressive in regards to gender rights. In most parts of Miami Beach, women are allowed to go topless. No, it’s not legal…
Fashion Breakdown: Pink Floyd t-shirt, American Apparel pants, white boots from a Cuban thrift store, and vintage purse from Bargain Box Thrift Shop on Flagler Street…
Like all TV junkies, we get high just watching Bravo’s infinite number of reality shows. And the side effects are virtually the same as cheap meth. It wastes our time and money and contributes to brain rot. But really, can anyone help loving Rachel Zoe’s terrible vocabulary or the complete…
The losers spend ninth grade playing video games, doing bong hits, and fitfully daydreaming about that pretty girl with the clean fingernails in social sciences. Meanwhile, the winners are playing football, doing the running man to mass applause, and fielding flagrantly inappropriate scholarship offers from major universities. Needless to say,…
