Je Suis Delusional

It’s difficult to imagine a child who has grown up with Guitar Hero, YouTube, and iTunes wanting to be a rock star. “One day, I want to be drawn on by Perez Hilton” seems like a much more contemporary desire, which makes this Friday night’s opening film at the Romance…

Strap ’Em On

If you’ve never played ice hockey or made figure eights on an icy pond, strapping Rollerblades onto your feet for the first time might feel kind of weird. But after you fall flat on your ass a couple of times, you get the hang of defying gravity on a set…

Best Buddies Like Change Too

The world could relate when President Obama said in his inauguration speech that we have duties not only to ourselves but also to those around us. In one swoop, he connected with noble organizations facing society’s challenges and acknowledged that all Americans should commit to community service. Local do-gooders at…

Me Tarzan, You Jane

You’ve surely heard the theory that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and considering that Mars is an unpredictable planet that spouts juices at the most inopportune moments, and Venus is named for the Roman goddess of love, it kinda makes sense. The battle of the sexes…

Out of Africa

Wolfgang Roth strides across his Design District gallery on a recent Wednesday afternoon, stopping abruptly in front of a striking bronze sculpture. The bust, of an African queen from the kingdom of Benin, is more than 350 years old. It’s part of a new show that Roth is especially proud…

He’s Just Not That into You: The Idiot’s Guide to Dating

The smirky, overbearing, and subliminally hostile romantic primer He’s Just Not That into You — which sold a regrettable two million copies when it was published in 2004 — seizes on some partial truths about the gender wars and blows them up into evolutionary gospel, as follows: Since cave-dwelling times,…

Kitty Extols the Virtues of Dry Humping

Hello, Kitty: My friends and family tease me about it, and I don’t deny it — I’m a bona fide party girl. I go out at least five or six nights a week and always drink and drug a little more than a lady should. But that’s not my problem…

The Uninvited

Two weeks after the reach-out-and-touch gore of My Bloody Valentine in 3-D, the splatter-free teen chiller The Uninvited feels sweetly old-fashioned. Sixteen-year-old Anna (Emily Browning), who attempted suicide after her mother’s death, leaves a psych hospital and returns to the gorgeous Maine lake house of her novelist father (David Strathairn)…

Samosas and Standards

The quest for a decent plate of Indian food in Miami can feel like a lost cause. You find a place with the kind of tikka masala that makes your heart tingle, and before your hosts can say, “Thank you. Come again,” their doors have already been shuttered (farewell, Punjab…

Brunch Never Tasted So Good

When our favorite arched fast-food restaurant introduced the savory and sweet McGriddle, our taste buds trembled in delight. Sausage and egg thrown between two syrup-injected pancakes sounded like our kind of meal. The 11 a.m. breakfast cut-off, not so much. We’ll let early birds have the drive-thru, and you can…

County Commission May Create a Cultural Task Force

An online petition encouraging President Obama to create a Secretary of the Arts position has collected hundreds of thousands of signatures and media attention, but considering the hard time Obama has had filling his current cabinet slots, it seems to be the last thing on his mind. You thought Tom…

Local Film Favorites Return with Inventing Kin

Inventing Kin from gold dickenson productions on Vimeo. In last year’s Best of Miami, Gold Dickenson Productions walked away with our coveted “Best Movie Shot on Location” award for Pencil Fighting: The Life and Times of Team Balderdash. Now the team is back with another locally shot film, Inventing Kin…

Miami Film Festival Gets Moore

On his way to D.C. to lobby for Obama’s recovery bill, Mayor Manny Diaz stopped by the Freedom Tower to give his blessing to the 26th edition of the Miami International Film Festival. One hundred or so journalists and cultural emissaries were there to suck down free Bustelo cortaditos and…

New in Town Might Just Be the Worst Movie of 2009

We’re not sure exactly what happened when New in Town got pitched. We imagine some screenwriter hack was all like, “You know how in Miami the temperature is relatively warm? Right? Well, what if some lady from Miami had to move to the frozen tundra of Minnesota? Then she had…

Art Capsules

Russian Dreams … Through February 8. Bass Museum of Art, 2121 Park Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-7530, bassmuseum.org. Tuesday through Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. This selection of cutting-edge works by contemporary Russian artists explores the evolution of Russian art from pre-Glasnost times to…

Blown Call

The last time the Miami Heat faced the Los Angeles Clippers, it fell to the league’s bottom dwellers by a score of 97-96. A one-point loss to one of the league’s worst teams is never easy to swallow, especially when the loss comes courtesy of an inadvertent whistle from a…

The Next Generation of Installations

There is a growing belief in art’s healing nature, with many health-care institutions across the nation embracing its power to rejuvenate and uplift those struggling with life’s challenges. This Wednesday at 6 p.m. at the Frost Art Museum, the Target Wednesday After Hours series will explore the healing power of…

Her Time Has Come

Your typical PBS news personality is stodgy, dry, and supposedly impartial to the events of the day. It seemed the same couldn’t quite be said of veteran journalist Gwen Ifill. The managing editor of Washington Week, senior correspondent for NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, frequent Meet the Press guest, and national…

Nothing Corny About These Nuts

What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of local comedy duo A Pair of Nuts? How was the weather under that rock you once called home? In case you’re late to the party, let us school you real quick. Yamil Piedra and Johnny Trabanco are two of the funniest dudes…

Tight End Takes on a Whole New Meaning

Who says hetero boys get to have all the fun on Superbowl Sunday? The fabulous and flamboyant revelers at the weekly you-gotta-see-this bash Click Sundays have another plan in mind. Wish a special performance by Misty Eyez and a live DJ set by the one and only Chi Chi LaRue,…

End of an Era

There is a fetid whiff of the Bush/Cheney reign of error emanating from a huge video projection on view at CiFo. Jimmie Durham’s Smashing offers a stinging commentary on bureaucratic arrogance and ineptitude. It’s rife with Kafkaesque undertones that seem ripped from recent headlines bemoaning the crushed American dream. The…