When it comes to pushing new laws, Gov. Rick Scott has developed a predictable routine: 1) Propose clearly unconstitutional and possibly insane new law. 2) Get sued. 3) Inspire heavy Daily Show mockery. 4) Lose over and over again in court.While we all love the Daily Show fodder, steps two…
Also read Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll Accused of Fling With Top Aide and Black Lesbians Are So Pissed At Jennifer Carroll Right Now.In one of the least predictable sagas of this summer of face-eating and Marlins-hating, conservative Gov. Jennifer Carroll was accused of getting caught in a lesbian affair with…
On The Franchise, Showtime’s series following the Marlins this season, GM Michael Hill recently had this to say about the team’s core, lead by Hanley Ramirez: “The veterans have crapped all over themselves.”That smack-down may not have been the best strategy for pumping up Ramirez’s trade value, but it was…
In 2007 and 2008, just as the Florida housing bubble was exploding spectacularly, Miami officials were scrambling to keep their budget afloat. One little trick they used, the Miami Herald later found, was shifting $26.4 million into the general fund so it looked like the city was balancing its books…
Damn you, Fidel. Don’t you have enough to occupy your attention with a cholera outbreak spreading across Cuba, and your all-star baseball team trying to topple the Yanquis in Havana? Can’t you stop sending secret messages to our crazy people in California demanding that they hijack helicopters for your nefarious…
Like most families in South Florida, Edy Martinez Lezcano’s clan in Key Largo had a weird mid-week holiday to fill thanks to the Fourth of July. How to best make some family bonding happen on a weird Wednesday off work? A day fishing? A road trip to Sloppy Joes?Nah, Lezcano’s…
Also read “Cuban Baseball Agents: Risks and Lies.”Last time around, the U.S. really couldn’t have picked a worse moment to send a baseball team down to Havana to take on Cuba’s best bats. The year was 1996, and Fidel’s fighter pilots had just shot down a pair of planes operated…
There are a lot of reasons why you might tote your BB gun to the neighborhood 7-Eleven and demand all the cash in the drawer — financial desperation, serious drunkenness, Big Gulp hatred. Though none of those is a good excuse per se, they’re certainly better than James Seehaus’s reasoning.The 25-year-old told…
Aventura Construction Worker Hit by Portable Toilet
How hot is it this week in Florida? So f’ing hot that sweat-crazed home owners are holding their air conditioning repairmen at gunpoint until they get the damn things working again. At least that’s what police say happened up near Daytona Beach, when a 54-year-old man held a repairman hostage…
Awww, you had a pretty rough day, huh? Your boss didn’t notice how hard you worked on those cold calls? The copy machine kept printing sideways? Starbucks messed up your Grande Frappuccino? Honestly, Carlos Torres doesn’t really want to hear it. No matter how messed-up your shift was, it wasn’t…
Judges postpone trials across Florida every day for all kinds of reasons — delayed depositions, conflicts with other cases, motions from attorneys, illnesses in the family. (Just ask Carlos Bertonatti — two and half years later, still no trial.)But there’s at least one reason that won’t stick: Wanting to compete…
Do you love Disney World, but wish Mickey and Minnie were a little heavier on the socialism? Why can’t Space Mountain also educate kids about the glories of Simon Bolivar’s revolution? Don’t worry: Hugo Chavez is on the case.The Venezuelan president announced plans this week to turn the site of…
In a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court has upheld President Obama’s health-care mandate, with Chief Justice John Roberts casting the surprising, deciding vote that the sweeping reform is constitutional. The ruling is a blow to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi, who spearheaded the first national court challenge to Obama’s legislation…
Read also, “Rush Limbaugh is Pissed Obama Referred to Miami ‘Heats'” and “Obama in Miami Beach: Gives Props to the Heat, Takes Shots At Romney.”Maybe it’s the Marc Anthony effect. Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet that President Obama accidentally called our local NBA champs the “Heats.” Or maybe, everyone…
Read also “New Voting Laws Could Take Out Barack Obama This Fall,” “Department of Justice to Florida: Stop Purging Voters” and “The Daily Show Rips Rick Scott’s Voter Registration Laws.”Rick Scott’s partisan purge of voters from Florida’s rolls a few months before a major election — a move that has…
Miami Beach’s Jonathan Corbett Stands Up to TSA’s Airport Molestation
Blogs like Gizmodo erupted this weekend when a YouTube video surfaced showing a hovering, flashing drone flying above the crowds at last month’s Memorial Day weekend in South Beach. The video was all the more eyebrow-raising because the Miami-Dade Police Department actually has a drone and is one of only…
In about half an hour, the champagne will start flowing, the vuvuzelas will start honking and, we can only hope, the Ronny Turiaf Dance will blow up Biscayne Boulevard. Tens of thousands of fans are already lining Biscayne Boulevard. Skip Bayless, presumably, is drinking heavily in a dark room somewhere…
The hidden camera rolls inside Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport as a spiky-haired young man calmly slips a metal box into a secret pocket sewn into his dress shirt. He strolls through the Transportation Security Administration’s high-tech body scanner, grabs the camera off the conveyor belt, and — voila! — takes…
All across the Magic City this Thursday night, pots are getting wrecked by spoons, more car horns are getting leaned on than rush hour on the Dolphin and every half-decent bar is passing around shots of Jameson in honor of Bron Bron. Your Miami Heat are 2012 NBA Champions. We’ll keep…
In the days after killing unarmed Miami teenager Trayvon Martin in February, George Zimmerman wrote a narrative for police about what happened that night. In neat, loopy cursive, Zimmerman claims that Martin slammed his head into the ground until “it felt like it was going to explode,” and told him…
