The headline pretty much sums this one up, so let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? The cop, fortunately, is OK. The crazy homeless guy with the rock, fortunately, is subdued and off the street. On to the gory details. Around 10 this morning, according to a release sent…
Yesterday, Miami’s civic leaders were the portrait of financial restraint, soberly deferring a multibillion-dollar plan to redevelop acres of downtown real estate in the midst of a national economy melting down like Lou Pinella after the inevitable Cubs collapse in the playoffs. This morning, they remembered that they govern Miami…
Two Miami developers seem to have a truly rich instinct for terrible timing. Let’s review: Banks, titans of industry,and pretty much every stalwart institution left on Wall Street are crumbling like dust. Everyone from retailers to bakers to retirees are feeling the shockwaves. And from downtown Miami to Brickell, unfinished…
It was like The Thomas Crown Affair. Except replace Pierce Brosnan’s dashing, adventure-seeking billionaire with an indigent, inept felon from South Miami. Meet Marcus Patmon. “He obviously was somewhat well educated in the art field,” says Kreg D. Kelley, curator of Galerie Lareuse in Washington, D.C., and a victim of…
Inside his spartan, tan ranch-style house just a few dozen feet from the Dolphin Expressway and close to the now-vacant lot where the Orange Bowl once stood, Julio Cabrera shows off the root of his troubles.The fit, olive-skinned 39-year-old’s left hand is frozen — fingers clenched unnaturally against his palm…
South Florida’s cabbies are inching closer and closer to joining the elite ranks of bomb disposal technicians, 50 Cent’s bodyguards and those insane fishermen from “Deadliest Catch.” There sure don’t seem to be that many jobs more hazardous to your health these days than driving a yellow and black around…
Miami sports fans can be forgiven if they’ve already pulled out the brown paper bags, covered their heads and collapsed trembling into the fetal position for the rest of the month. The Marlins tanked in August. The Canes rolled over and died in Gainesville. And the Dolphins? May the good…
That deafening sucking roar you hear this afternoon might not just be the Dolphins bumbling through their midweek practice. It might, in fact, be the sound of your impending doom. Early this morning, a cabal of cackling, evil scientists gathered around their fiendish creation deep beneath the soil in Switzerland,…
Alas, his life choices have been just as bad as his fashion choices. Jose Canseco, baseball’s favorite steroid fiend turned steroid snitch, has already lost a lot to the juice: a shot at the Hall of Fame, a life with normal-sized testicles and, you know, respect. But on Monday his…
Once an active skier and runner, U.S. Magistrate Theodore Klein could hardly breathe. His face was swollen from steroids. And he had to wheel around a portable oxygen canister. He knew his killer long before he perished in September 2006. “Ted strongly believed it was the mold in the courthouse…
So Miami, we need to have a little talk. See, there’s this major league baseball team in town. Yes, right here in Miami. They’re called the Marlins. They have uniforms and play other major league baseball teams and even have a couple of All Stars hanging around. In fact, they…
Sure, the TV types certainly enjoyed their time with Gustav last weekend. But other than a crappy Labor Day weekend of spitting rain and vicious rip-currents, South Florida pretty much ignored Gustav once the cone of concern migrated well to the west. But what better way to welcome back in…
He’s French, goes by Chris or Christian, and might just be the ballsiest criminal on South Beach. Last month, he hacked into a lockbox outside an apartment that was available for rent, took the keys, and plastered his cell phone number on signs near the building. Then he rented the…
“BALLS!” The drunken crowd, clad in tight jeans and ironically large sunglasses, splayed on a cheap folding chairs and pricey low-lying couches, screams mostly in unison and with feeling. It’s Bingo Night at the Standard. Inside the Belle Island hotel — a joint so hip that its bright white sign…
Like so many other Americans these days, Delma Mercado let her mortgage get the best of her. Unlike most other estados-unidenses, she dreamed up a seemingly rock-solid solution to her financial woes. One problem: It involved stealing rent from the poorest tenants in Hialeah. As media across the county reported…
With a crocodile’s calm grin, Ricardo Corona rises from his chair near the end of a long table of coiffed women and conservatively suited men, grabs a microphone, and tells a roomful of college students why they should elect him a Florida circuit court judge. “I was mainly in business…
UPDATE — Youtube has pulled Miami’s favorite gnarly kite-surfing accident, presumably at the behest of CBS4, which filmed the whole sordid affair. Fortunately, you can still indulge your need for extreme kite-surfing footage at the CBS4 website. Enjoy! When Tropical Storm Fay started whipping 40 to 50 mile-per-hour winds through…
Wilma she ain’t, but with Fay barreling toward the mainland and Floridians reacting with their usual mix of apathy and rage toward meteorologists, the storm has at least captured the attention of schoolkids everywhere in South Florida. In fifth grade classrooms up and down the coast, Fay has been declared…
In these tight economic times, there are many daring ideas worth trying to save some coin. That off-brand cereal that comes in plastic trash bags. Mexican dentistry. Pabst Blue Ribbon. But only in Miami are you likely to find the true spendthrifts, those willing to put their lips on the…
As reported in Riptide 2.0, John McCain’s staffers tried to help solidify his elderly South Florida base on a visit to Miami yesterday by proving that they can’t drive very well either. Now it seems that the Straight Talk Express was having just as much difficulty staying on the conservative…
Like an island full of desperate strangers or a house full of women throwing themselves at Flava Flav, the Miami Dade School Board’s public meetings apparently have become the stuff of great reality television. In fact — fueled by the divisive drama of a recent campaign to oust Superintendent Rudy…
The sign hangs over a locked turnstile outside Dolphin Stadium, gently mocking hundreds of Marlins fans trapped in a winding gauntlet of fences protecting the handful of ticket sellers at Wednesday’s divisional showdown against the Mets. Lightning flashes. Torrents of rain darken the horizon. Clouds circle overhead. The line creeps…
