When the forefathers of Cultist convened in a special session to iron out exactly what they thought a culture blog should be, the first thought that popped into their minds was surely WWE’s Monday Night Raw. Think about it: There’s no theater like the drama produced in wrestling. Competition? You…
Sometimes we like to surf the Internet to see what freaky things are out there. And sometimes we find gold. Take for example our latest expedition to Craigslist in which we stumbled upon a listing offering up a “SUPER RARE” signed letter from convicted serial killer Charles Manson. The same…
Remember when crawling in the mud under barbed wire, crossing over a river on rope, and jumping man-made walls was what cadets did to prove they had what it takes to be a Marine? Think An Officer and a Gentlemen. Well it turns out being tortured, er, tested by a…
It’s been more than five months since Cultist sullied its web pages with mention of Bad Girls Club Miami. Yeah, that’s long enough. Time to bring the hoochies back. But before you commit virtual suicide and fling your laptop into the Atlantic, relax, we’re not talking about another reunion. It’s…
Say what you want about soccer in this country (it’s a second-tier sport, it’s popular only because of soccer moms, and there’s not enough tackling), but the rivalry between the American and Mexican teams is among the most passionate on the continent. Mexicans never tire of besting their gringo brethren,…
He died of consumption. Sounds like a cause of death better suited to Europe during the Middle Ages. But Miami? Turns out H. Graham Branscomb, a 24-year-old Englishman (had to be!), became the first person to be officially buried at the Miami City Cemetery when he died as a result…
Today is April 20. In case you missed it or are too high to remember (if you did check out this, and this, and this), it’s National Pot Smoking Day, or Weed Day, or Bill of Rights for Stoners Day. The point is there’s a lot of emphasis on the…
We were shocked to find out the Miami Heat are recycling their White Hot Heat theme going into the 2011 playoffs. Sure, it worked in 2006 and helped get us our first NBA title, but that was five years ago. This is a new team. A legitimate juggernaut. The team…
Beauty pageants attract controversy like their contestants flock to tiaras. Just this week all of England was in an uproar about a Muslim woman vying to represent Britain in the Miss Universe competition. Don’t get us wrong, we’re all for Muslim ladies ditching their burkas and walking proud – in…
Ever watch a polo match and think, that’d be fun to play? Probably not. Mounting ponies and dodging swinging mallets and hard-ass balls is not exactly part of our regular sports diet in South Florida, with apologies to Palm Beach socialites and fans of Miami Beach Polo World Cup. For…
Never heard of Ignacio “Nacho” Figueras? Well, you’ve probably drooled over him. Figueras is a polo player with a mega Ralph Lauren modeling contract, a mane of dark hair, sultry brown eyes, and an Argentine accent that leaves wobbly knees in its wake. When he takes to his horse at…
Barbershops breed good comedy thanks to loads of idle time and plenty of shit-talking. Remember the movie Barbershop and its sequel? It’s no coincidence those movies spurred, at least in a two-degrees-of-separation kind of way, the Barber Shop Comedy Tour. Both Barbershop flicks star Cedric the Entertainer, who was also…
The sadists behind the latest stop of the Spartan Race tour, which lands in Oleta River State Park this Saturday, describe themselves as “seven insane ultra-athletes and a Royal Marine.” Figures. The race is rated a Super Spartan-level event, meaning there will be an “eight-plus-mile battlefield of insane mud running…
Tax day is upon us, and man does it suck. It’s the one day a year many of us secretly wish we were Republicans. And part of the whole rigmarole of breaking off Uncle Sam his cut is fantasizing about hording away our hard-earned dollars and giving the feds the middle…
Holy K-Y Jelly! Joe Eszterhas, the William Fuckner of Hollywood scriptwriting responsible for such sex and camp thrillers as Basic Instinct, Sliver, Jade, and, of course, Showgirls, is back. And his return from abstinence (at least in screenwriting) involves the Magic City as the setting for his next lurid story,…
X-Ray vision. Super-human strength. The ability to read minds. Flying. And, the power to become invisible (especially, in the middle of tax season). We all wish we had superpowers. But we don’t. And that sucks. Like any adolescent geek into comic books and superheroes, Cultist feels your pain. We figure…
Matt Lauer leaving The Today Show. Katie Couric saying goodbye to CBS Evening News. Oprah ditching her show later this year. What’s going on? How will we ever recover without those familiar faces spewing useless news at us during the morning, afternoon, and night. Eh, we’ll get over it. Miamians…
Want change in Cuba? Forget ineffective legislation and international embargoes. You’re better off starting with something young. Something subversive, maybe with a bit of anarchy thrown in. Something that stimulates both the physical and emotional. Something like skateboarding. Huh? That’s right. You’d be hard-pressed to find a subculture on the…
Suck the head; eat the tail. That’s a phrase that will be heard at Tobacco Road — we mean more than usual, of course — during Sunday’s 11th annual Crawfish Boil. There are plenty of ways to gorge on crawfish — AKA crayfish, crawdads, mudbugs, or whatever you call those…
Suck the head; eat the tail. That’s a phrase that will be heard at Tobacco Road — we mean more than usual, of course — during Sunday’s 11th annual Crawfish Boil. There are plenty of ways to gorge on crawfish — AKA crayfish, crawdads, mudbugs, or whatever you call those…
Why hand lotion? Because you’ll be forwarding this post to all your like-minded adult pals, and all that clicking might make your fingers get blisters. Why? What were you thinking, you perv!? Exxxotica Miami Beach has become queen bee among Miami Beach’s many debauch events. It’s the only time of…
Sometimes Cultist gets stick for our posts on reality TV shows like Real Housewives of Miami and Basketball Wives. Well, stop hatin’. These shows are based in Miami, they’re crazy popular, and they’re part of who we are, like it or not. So what if they’re harbingers of the end…
