LeBron James returned to his old home last night, and he didn’t bother knocking. No, no, he kicked in the door, walked directly to the Cavs’ refrigerator, ate their last snack pack, took a massive Hiroshima dump in their bathroom, asked for their Wi-Fi password, and downloaded a bunch of…
Who do you turn to when you’ve lost your way? Jesus. Because Jesus Shuttlesworth saves. It was Sunday after all. Ray Allen, AKA “Jesus Shuttlesworth,” held a come to Jesus meeting Sunday afternoon, scoring 14 of his Miami Heat career high 25 points in the decisive fourth quarter of the…
Nets 96, Heat 95. Now that we have covered the game, let’s talk about more important things, like what the hell LeBron James was doing with his feet last night. People instantly realized something weird was going on, namely that every time LeBron took a step, a flash of light…
The Miami Marlins are back! In Jupiter! Wait, don’t leave! There are a couple of things you might want to keep an eye on between Heat games and Dolphins TMZ Sports news. The Marlins aren’t entering the 2014 season with many expectations, or much hype, and real baseball is still…
Tied with Washington entering the fourth quarter, the Miami Heat was on the brink of losing its fourth straight game for the first time since 2010. Just then, Dwyane Wade swooped in and put his foot directly in that possibility’s ass. Wade scored 13 of his 22 points in the…
Ayyyyyyy dios mio! The Los Spurs dropped a biblical ass whooping on El Heat Thursday night in San Antonio, 111-87. No, no, NO me gusta! The Heat were sloppy all night, committing 20 turnovers. When you commit 20 turnovers against the Spurs, it doesn’t have to be Latin night for…
Happy belated Birthday, Burnie! Burnie, the Miami Heat mascot, celebrated his birthday with Heat fans during the Heat-Magic game Saturday night. Festivities before the game included bounce houses, face painting, inflatables, rides, interactive games and more. The first 5,000 kids in attendance Saturday night got a “Burnie face on a…
Welp, that wasn’t as fun as Monday. The Heat lost a total setup of a hangover game 106-103 to the Houston Rockets Monday night. Asking the Heat to follow LeBron’s 61 point game less than 24 hours later felt a lot like the camera panning from Kendrick Lamar and Imagine…
Just when you thought it was safe to watch a random Monday night Heat versus the Bobcats game, LeBron explodes for 61 points, punting you, naked and riding a unicorn, directly into the sun. Dammit LeBron, my wife is gonna kill me. She loves unicorns. You know you had a…
The Miami Marlins are back! In Jupiter! Wait, don’t leave! I’ve got a couple things that you may want to keep an eye on in between Miami Heat games and Miami Dolphins TMZ Sports news. The Marlins aren’t entering the 2014 season with many expectations, nor much hype, but there…
Sometimes games don’t live up to the hype. This was not one of those instances. After LeBron James broke his nose last week against the Oklahoma City Thunder, it was pretty much expected that LeBron would be stuck with an ugly face mask for the foreseeable future. Not exactly. Turns…
It’s that time of year again. The time of year where the Miami Heat pick up a player for next to nothing, insert said discounted player in the perfect role, and a few months later ask that player what ring size he prefers. It’s a Miami Heat summer tradition, like…
It’s hard to believe it’s been four years since LeBron James took his talents to South Beach, but here we are. The Miami Heat’s Big Three have been more entertaining than any of us could have imagined — and not just because they’ve dominated on the court. From Chris Bosh’s…
Even without LeBron, the Heat proved Sunday they can still dish out the L’s. Dwyane Wade showed America exactly why the Internet has given him his newest nickname: “Chef Wade.” He baked up that good ya’ll-musta-forgot cake Sunday afternoon meal. The ingredients included: 23 points, 10 rebounds, seven assists, two…
LeBron James took a nasty shot to the grill late in last night’s 103-81 blowout of the Thunder, throwing shade all over the Heat’s impressive performance. Before LeBron hit the floor late in the fourth, he was making a lot of those MVP voters happy they used a No. 2…
It’s hard to believe it’s been four years since LeBron James chose to take his talents to South Beach, but here we are. These Big 3 Miami Heat teams have been more entertaining, than any of us could have imagined — and not just because they’ve dominated on the court…
LeBron James came out of the All-Star break dropping bombs on your moms, assists on your sis, and dunks on your uncs on his way to a season high 42 points in the Heat’s 117-106 win over the Mavs. LeBron added nine rebounds and six assists to the 50th 40-plus…
LeBron left them a tenth of a second, such a gentleman. Down two with under 10 seconds left, Coach Spoelstra opted not to call a timeout, but rather let the best player in the Universe attack the unprepared Golden State defense. It went well, it went real well. The buzzer…
Oh, so it’s a dunk contest you want America? Well then, by all means, a dunk contest you shall have! LeBron followed up a day of butt hurt talking heads bashing him for not participating in their silly, outdated, doesn’t count, nobody will remember in a week exhibition with a…
Remember how bad the Super Bowl was last Sunday? That was awesome. Bad football is better than no football, and this past Sunday, that realization smacked lots of us dead in the face. If you didn’t think about the NFL being gone during the week. You figured it out when…
Good morning! While you were asleep last night, the Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Clippers played future basketball, where people can fly, only dunks count, and playing defense is frowned upon. The Dunk counter ran out of batteries in this one, because all of the dunks happened, all shapes…
David Beckham, to the delight of soccer fans in South Florida, is expected to confirm Wednesday that Major League Soccer will return to Miami, possibly as soon as 2016. Since the Fort Lauderdale Miami Fusion closed up shop in 2001 due to a wide assortment of issues, including a lack…
