Miami Heat Steals Home-Court Advantage Back From the Pacers

After last week’s loss to the Pacers, most people assumed the race for the first seed was over. Many predicted it would be very likely the Heat would just turtle into some sort of pre-playoff cocoon, content with the second seed in the East. Last Wednesday’s loss to the Pacers…

Marlins Opening Day: Meet Your New, Mildly Less Crappy 2014 Fish

Meet your new and improved 2014 Miami Marlins! Now with 100 percent less Logan Morrison but with the same great taste! As Marlins fans get ready for tonight’s home opener against the Rockies, they really should be used to the drill. The Ponzi scheme that was owner Jeffry Loria’s 2012…

Jesus Shuttlesworth Saved the Heat on Sunday

Who do you turn to when you’ve lost your way? Jesus. Because Jesus Shuttlesworth saves. It was Sunday after all. Ray Allen, AKA “Jesus Shuttlesworth,” held a come to Jesus meeting Sunday afternoon, scoring 14 of his Miami Heat career high 25 points in the decisive fourth quarter of the…

Marlins Spring Training: A Torture Guide

The Miami Marlins are back! In Jupiter! Wait, don’t leave! There are a couple of things you might want to keep an eye on between Heat games and Dolphins TMZ Sports news. The Marlins aren’t entering the 2014 season with many expectations, or much hype, and real baseball is still…

Heat-Spurs: A Gordo Grande Loss Smells Bad for the Playoffs

Ayyyyyyy dios mio! The Los Spurs dropped a biblical ass whooping on El Heat Thursday night in San Antonio, 111-87. No, no, NO me gusta! The Heat were sloppy all night, committing 20 turnovers. When you commit 20 turnovers against the Spurs, it doesn’t have to be Latin night for…

Caron Butler Could Be This Season’s Birdman For the Heat

It’s that time of year again. The time of year where the Miami Heat pick up a player for next to nothing, insert said discounted player in the perfect role, and a few months later ask that player what ring size he prefers. It’s a Miami Heat summer tradition, like…

“Lelbron”: A History of the Web’s Greatest LeBron Meme

It’s hard to believe it’s been four years since LeBron James took his talents to South Beach, but here we are. The Miami Heat’s Big Three have been more entertaining than any of us could have imagined — and not just because they’ve dominated on the court. From Chris Bosh’s…

Dwyane Wade’s New Nickname: “Chef Wade”

Even without LeBron, the Heat proved Sunday they can still dish out the L’s. Dwyane Wade showed America exactly why the Internet has given him his newest nickname: “Chef Wade.” He baked up that good ya’ll-musta-forgot cake Sunday afternoon meal. The ingredients included: 23 points, 10 rebounds, seven assists, two…