Reality shows make things look so easy, but in the real world, you don’t have the luxury of fancy editing and strategic cut-away shots that really make the magic happen. So when you’re boogying at the Wednesday-night Factory Milonga Tango Class and Party, look in the mirror and ask yourself:…
Magic City Kitty: Crack Baby Daddy
The beginning of the school year is lurking like a creep on Christmas, and even though your coed days are long gone, the Gusman Center is allowing you a blast to your high school past with a special showing of the movie Fame. The Gusman’s Flickin’ Summer Music Series —…
You’d have to be a truly naive soul to believe Alice in Wonderland was anything less than an amazing tale of one girl’s psychedelic trip. No one has ever taken the time to write a book about it, but we met that same hookah-smoking caterpillar in a dream, and between…
Don’t call him a shitty driver just because he crashed a rare Enzo Ferrari while taking a practice spin during a 2007 charity racing event. Er, he meant to do that. Call it comedic license or someone-should-revoke-your license, but comedian Eddie Griffin wasn’t harmed in the expensive accident, so it…
When Victor Margueritte released his 1932 novel, La Garçonne, a story about a girl who chose a life of free love after being duped by a cheating fiancée, the public balked at the lesbian themes in the story. The thought of a woman having multiple sex partners — both male…
If all firefighters were as hot as the ones in South Florida, pussycats and cougars nationwide would have a great time finding reasons to get stuck high in the branches of their local foliage. Don’t try that with a royal palm, local kittens, because this Saturday at Macy’s in Aventura…
Take off that shiny shirt and wash the Nice ‘n’ Smooth from your hair, because Mondays are for no-fuss partying. Hell, it’s bad enough you had to interrupt your weekend debauchery to show up for work. This Monday night, bring your beginning-of-the-week angst to Love Hate Lounge for its newest…
The weatherfolk predict isolated thunderstorms (versus social ones, with tons of homies), a Kardashian is knocked up, and some woman took the term fire sale way too literally — so get into some shit this weekend. If watching grown men kick balls with skill and precision sounds like a dope time,…
Hello, Kitty: I love giving head to my boyfriend, but my jaw hurts and is sore for days after I do it. He doesn’t ask for or expect it all the time, so I don’t really want to tell him. But the pain is unbearable. It usually gets going around…
When we say “mos def” in casual conversation, it means we most definitely agree with whatever you’ve just said. When thousands of fans scream it, that means they’re thirsty for more wickedly conscious rhymes from one of hip-hop’s longest-lasting and most underrated MCs, Dante Smith — AKA Mos Def. A…
It was 1969 when a dairy farm in Bethel, New York, transformed into the coolest place on Earth. To think that a spot where cows chewed cud and got their utters yanked would be the site of rock ’n’ roll legend must have seemed insane. But 40 years later, concert…
Hard-core partiers like to hit four or five spots in one night. But a place that serves cocktails, dinner, and music is the 7-Eleven of luxe nightlife. The Bancroft Supper Club takes the convenience and vast selection of the Slurpee purveyor, omits the hot dogs, adds some style and panache,…
Magic City Kitty: Blowjob Layoff
Last week, some unknown goons ran up on Brisco in a barber shop and got the Opa-Locka goon for some cash, his watch, chain, Lemon Head charm, and Range Rover. Now he’s turned his drama into a song and recorded the track, “Revenge,” with a complete mixtape of the same…
Tonight, if muzak is what you’re running from and music is what you’re after, check out Jacob’s Ladder at the Dugout, or dance while Marques Wyatt spins at the Electric Pickle. If your winter lover dumped you for the summer, watch two happy people — Tony n’ Tina — get faux-married at…
While the man is doing all that he can to thwart the arts in Miami (we kid, man, don’t hurt us), Gibson Guitar is injecting a bit of it into every corner of the city. Remember when the flamingos took to the streets of Miami in colorful defiance? Gibson is…
Hello, Kitty: I’m always begging my boyfriend to spend a couple of nights at my house, but when he finally obliges, I can’t wait for him to leave. Not for good, just for 20 to 30 minutes so I can have time to shit and clear the air in my…
If you prefer watching soap operas to actually living one, you could just as easily get lost inside of one of author Gigi Levangie Grazer’s tomes. When she wrote about a scorned wife who had been traded for a pretty young thing, cable network USA adapted it into a miniseries…
There’s more than one way to catch a fish, but if your best technique includes your bare hands and a lot of luck, you might never eat mahi-mahi again. If you have a strategy that works, enter the third annual Miami Fishing Tournament, where local fisherman take to Biscayne Bay…
Go-kart racing was all fun and games when you were a kid who had never felt the thrill of weaving in and out of traffic and pressing the gas until your engine whirred to speeds way over the legal limit. But now that you’re of age and have tasted the…
Her Bravo celebreality show may be called Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List, but the star is this close to becoming one of those A-listers whose every nip, slip, home foreclosure, and shoplifting spree is followed by hungry celebmongers worldwide. Either way, Kathy Griffin is most definitely in…
