Whacking Onstage

Many of you probably remember watching Gallagher smash things to bits on television in the ’80s. But his comedy isn’t for everyone — his recent humor sometimes borders on racist, homophobic, and cheap. Gems like “If Obama was really black, he’d act like a black guy and get a white…

Man With the Mane

Lionel Richie. His hair is fucking crazy, bordering on crazy awesome. However, throughout the decades he has made efforts to tone it down. That mustache, on the other hand, has stuck around like his daughter’s herpes. We’re not insinuating Nicole Richie is a slut, by the way, it’s just that…

Let’s Play Hipster, Homeless, or Lumberjack

The hipster bug swept Miami, first landing in Wynwood, possibly directly from Patient Zero in New York City. Scenester kids were among the first to be infected on account of their low body fat and weakened immune systems stemming from a vegetarian and bullshit diet. Many emo kids soon followed…

When Monkeys Can Fly

There isn’t a person in the First World unfamiliar with the story The Wizard of Oz. A young Kansas girl named Dorothy embarks on a magnificent journey (not unlike an insane crystal meth bender so common in that region today) and befriends a cowardly lion, a scarecrow, and a shoddily…

Behind the Music

Phil Spector was a dabbler. He dabbled in little things such as legendary pop music production (his credits include the Beatles’ final album, Let It Be, and the Top Gun ballad “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ ”), mad scientist hairstyling, and murder. Oh, how he loved murder. And as an American…