Luke’s Gospel: Miami Heat Is Way Ahead of Dolphins, Marlins

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Heat is the number one franchise in Miami.Jeffrey Loria and Stephen Ross need to set up…

Dwyane Wade Hasn’t Lost the Fire to Be the Best

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the future of the Miami Heat’s biggest star.Whether the Heat wins or loses the NBA Finals, everybody…

The Avengers Lacks Black Superheroes

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the United States Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke is mad that there were no black super heroes in The Avengers movie.Over the weekend, I finally…

Miami Beach to Blacks on Urban Beach Weekend: Get Out!

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says African-Americans may find a new vacation spot unless attitudes change on Miami Beach.Note to African-American tourists…

Blacks Support Gay Marriage

Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition of his column, Luke explains the new security measures for Memorial Day Weekend on Miami Beach.This is…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke explains why blacks are cool with gay people tying the knot.When he announced that he backs gay…

Justin Bieber Is on the Edge of Crazy

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be forMiami New Times. This week, Luke warns that Justin Bieber might be on a dark path similar to the one followed by other young…

Rove’s Obama Attack Ad: Subliminal Racism

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says Mitt Romney and Karl Rove are a couple of uncool tools.Karl Rove’s super PAC, American Crossroads,…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke stands up for Metta World Peace. I have a message for NBA overlord David Stern: Free Metta…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gives an F to the Miami Dolphins and the Miami Hurricanes underclassmen who left school for the…

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke stands up for Metta World Peace.I have a message for NBA overlord David Stern: Free Metta World Peace…

Holograms: Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain Onstage

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke marvels at the technology that brought Tupac back to life. The lifelike image of Tupac Shakur performing…

Mayor Carlos Gimenez Is a Failure

Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses his old campaign foe’s sorry job performance.During almost ten months in office, Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez has…