Former Trump Aide Admits to Buying Hand Job at Miami Massage Parlor

Former Donald Trump campaign spokesperson Jason Miller’s reputation was already in shambles before today. Miller was the communications director for Trump’s 2016 campaign and was in line to become White House press secretary but ultimately resigned after he admitted to having an affair with a Miami-based Trump staffer, A.J. Delgado, and fathering a lovechild with her.

Here Are Resources to Prepare for an ICE Raid in Miami

President Donald Trump’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement department is, according to reports, planning on launching immigration raids on Sunday in 10 cities — Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, Denver, Houston, Los Angeles, New Orleans, New York City, San Francisco, and Miami.

Trump’s ICE Raids Reportedly Set to Begin in Miami This Weekend

Last month, President Donald Trump abruptly called off a series of planned U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids in ten major U.S. cities after immigrant activists sounded the alarm. June 22, Trump tweeted he was delaying the raids for two weeks to give Congress time to fix issues at the southern border — or, in other words, to capitulate to his racist demands on immigration policy.

Alex Acosta Tries to Duck Blame for Going Easy on Billionaire Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein

President Donald Trump’s labor secretary, Alex Acosta, used to be Miami’s top federal prosecutor. In his previous role, Acosta gave billionaire pedophile and alleged child rapist Jeffrey Epstein a plea deal so lenient it straight-up violated the law. Thanks to Acosta, Epstein was pretty much allowed to skate by despite the fact he had repeatedly been accused of raping children…

Cool, Parts of Miami Are Flooding Once Again

Well, folks, it’s yet another day in Miami where a mildly significant rainstorm is bringing huge portions of the Magic City to a grinding halt! Who’s excited? Throw your hands in the air if you’re pumped for our pending climate apocalypse!

Five Terrifying Miami Neighbor Feuds

Neighbors are a lot like family members. You don’t really get to pick them, and if you get a bad one, you’re often stuck with said person for quite some time. Sometimes these fights escalate — neighbor-on-neighbor violence is so common that the Investigation Discovery channel has an entire (terrible) series devoted to the matter called Fear Thy Neighbor.

State Audit Finds Insanely Huge List of Problems With Opa-locka Government

Opa-locka is a city that pretty much shouldn’t exist. The FBI raided City Hall in 2016. City services are broken to the point that straight-up human feces recently flooded city streets. To fix the mess, officials brought in ex-County Manager Merrett Stierheim, a man who’s seen his fair share of political shenanigans, but Stierheim quit and said the place wasn’t fixable. Some of the city’s own residents in 2017 tried to mount a (failed) campaign to dissolve Opa-locka entirely.

Activists Barred From Giving Water to Immigrants at Miami-Area ICE Facility

Miami is utterly sweltering today. Earlier this morning, WeatherUnderground reported that — with humidity taken into account — the temperature felt like 115 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Yet tons of immigrants are stuck in the heat this week at South Florida’s main Immigration and Customs Enforcement office in Miramar, where ICE keeps immigrants waiting outdoors in what is essentially a caged pen for hours at a time.

Florida Dems Return $10K Private-Prison Donation After New Times Story

In 2018, the Florida Democratic Party said it would stop taking donations from private, for-profit prison firms. So, after New Times first reported last month that the party had accepted a $10,000 check from inmate-transport company G4S Secure Solutions — a company that also runs private prisons in other countries — activists cried foul. Now, the party says it will return the money.

We Ranked Each 2020 Candidate by How Sweaty They Got in Miami Weather

Miami summers have a way of defeating the weak-willed. Locals, who already don’t go to the beach that much, truly stop sitting by the ocean. You start ordering takeout for dinner every night because it’s too hot to carry groceries outside. Walking your dog for 15 minutes will annihilate any hairstyle and force you to take a shower before doing anything else that day.