Homeland Security Face-Scanning Tech at MIA Likely Illegal, Report Warns

Few American airports shuttle more travelers out of the country than Miami International. But many travelers who’ve flown internationally from MIA since September 1 have been stopped by agents from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and guided to a small kiosk with a camera inside that resembles an iPhone the size of a shoebox.

Here Are the 12 People Miami-Area Police Killed in 2017

Most killings by police likely don’t need to happen. They are extremely rare in European countries — only five people were shot dead by law enforcement in the entire United Kingdom in 2017. According to figures recently released by MappingPoliceViolence.org, a national anti-police-brutality activist group, 1,129 people were killed by police officers in the United States in 2017.

Rubio Admits Corporate Tax Cuts Won’t “Create Dramatic Economic Growth”

The only definitive conclusion to be drawn from Florida Sen. Marco Rubio’s latest interview with the Southwest Florida daily News-Press is that a swarm of wasps didn’t immediately spill out when the state’s junior U.S. senator opened his mouth. Otherwise, he conducted himself like the pathetic, indecisive jackass we all know and love. Asked about the catastrophic tax bill he just voted for this month, he full-on admitted the entire thing was based on a pile of lies and not likely to grow the economy or help anyone except major corporations. Merry Christmas!

For the 20th Year, Miami Begs Idiots Not to Shoot Guns Into the Air on New Year’s

Miami just wants to go one six-month stretch without a bystander getting hit by celebratory gunfire. Is that too much to ask? Every Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve, city and county officials must remind South Florida’s insane, physics-challenged residents that, indeed, when you shoot a gun straight up into the air, those bullets don’t just magically rocket off into the sun.

Five Scumbags Florida Was Glad to See Leave in 2017

This year was, thankfully, a year in which America’s most sexually rapacious scumbags finally started to get their comeuppances. And guess what? Florida is filled with complete scumbags. You’re not surprised? Literally everyone has known this since Florida was first incorporated? Okay, fine. But — hey — at least we…

GOP Tax Bill Could Make 873,000 Floridians Drop or Lose Health Insurance

The GOP tax bill passed today! And it repeals the “individual mandate” written into the Affordable Care Act, AKA the Obamacare provision that mandated that all people buy health insurance. Though Obamacare was far from a perfect program, the mandate repeal that’s sneakily included in the draconian, monstrous “Tax Cuts and Jobs Act” today is expected to destabilize all sorts of insurance markets and ultimately force millions of people off of their health plans.

Hero Florida Mosquitoes Migrated to D.C. and Are Biting Lawmakers, Study Says

You would be forgiven if you assumed New Times was a staunchly anti-mosquito news outlet, what with all the stories its reporters have written about battling tropical diseases such as Zika, chikungunya, and dengue. But as of today, New Times is now ardently pro-mosquito: According to Yale researchers, a group of Aedes aegypti mosquitoes somehow migrated all the way to Washington, D.C., and has been biting residents “near Capitol Hill” for the past six years.

Somalis in South Florida Deported by ICE on “Slave Ship” File Class-Action Suit

In the early-morning hours of December 7, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials in Louisiana woke up 92 Somali detainees and shackled them by their wrists, waists, and ankles. The Somalis were then loaded onto a chartered airplane that was supposed to return them to Somalia. But then, for reasons the government has not yet explained, the plane landed in Dakar, Senegal. It sat on the ground for 23 hours and then headed back to the United States, landing in Miami.

Miami-Dade County Says It’s Investigating Allegedly Illegal Frat-House Ring Tied to Local Judge

For the better part of a year, a group of more than 50 residents in the Glenvar Heights area of Miami-Dade County say they’ve been trapped living next to off-campus dormitories and frat houses illegally housing trash-spewing, beer-chugging University of Miami students. As New Times reported last week, the predicament in which these residents find themselves bears an extremely striking resemblance to the 2014 Seth Rogen comedy Neighbors.

The Five Worst Ideas From Florida Politicians in 2017

The Florida legislature is run by cold, dead-eyed lunatics, lecherous men, and vampires without the parts of their brains that let them feel empathy. Tallahassee is such a horrid place that it’s barely even news when someone proposes letting people openly carry shotguns while riding mountain bikes, or putting a…