A wise comedian once said, “Improvisation is when the chicken starts to cross the road but instead jumps into the back of an old Chevy pickup and ends up at Stir Crazy Lounge, drinking Budweiser and eating chicken wings till all the rent money is sliding down the crack of…
Legend has it that Miami was just 15 years old when the city’s mayor lost its first liquor license in an illegal poker game with a Miccosukee card shark. Now, 102 years later, that document has been to hell and back, and Tobacco Road is proof. The joint has been…
People’s Choice Awards nominees are live. The community can vote now through November 17 via text message for one of six selected Knight Arts Challenge finalists to receive $20,000 to fund their projects. It’s a text-to-vote campaign: Choose your favorite group and text its code to 22333. Of the 75…
The Washington Wizards are in rough shape. They couldn’t beat a one-armed man in a clapping contest. They couldn’t sink a three-point shot if it had six anchors and an anvil tied to it. They couldn’t make a play if their name were Shakespeare, move a basketball if it had…
Chris D’Elia is a road-dog comedian. He reportedly performed 430 shows in 2011 alone. Highways across America are littered with the refuse of his dead jokes ringing through the echoes of existence. But the funny ones make it to the stage and explode rooms into hilarity. Audiences howl, honk, giggle,…
The Houston Rockets are a great team full of nice guys. So we almost feel bad they’re gonna go back to Texas as crybaby losers after the Miami Heat throws them headfirst into the wood chipper and uses their blood to mulch our lawns. We’re gonna fry them up like…
Larry Harlow plays the piano like palm trees play the breeze, like a lizard plays the grass, like the sunrise plays the morning. He’s a natural. And 50 years of practice have made him even better. The so-called Judio Maravilloso, which translates to “Amazing Jew,” was the first guy signed…
When it rains in Hell, the ground cracks open and Satan’s blood flows up from Hades to soak the Earth. Maggots in the dirt gorge themselves on the devil’s plasma until their tiny, ugly bodies burst and microscopic eggs spray everywhere. Six days later, a new generation of long-haired black…
Pink eyeballs, fight cancer with fresh pink eyeballs, get em’ while they’re hot. Miami’s own Aholsniffsglue is raising money to fight the evil disease that took his mom’s life, and you can help. Visit Wynwood’s Gregg Shienbaum Gallery and purchase a special October pink edition of David Anasagasti’s (AKA Ahol)…
You were born to the pulsing pound of your momma’s heart going thump. And today, the beat of a drum still brings you new life. Now multiply that phenomenon by 22, and you’ve got the estrogenergetic force of Venus Rising, South Florida’s premier all-female dance and drum group. After a…
In honor of the 305 being the best basketball city in the world, here’s a poem about how big a bucket of Loserade the Miami Heat will dump all over the Atlanta Hawks at AmericanAirlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) beginning at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday: There once was a team…
Football is America’s greatest blood sport. From the busted knuckles to the broken bones, we love each concussive moment. Every Sunday in season, our collective ears boom with the percussive force of 22 bodies on the field of battle colliding through time and space. It is orchestrated mayhem, tribal brutality,…
Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass,” has touched millions, including Miami’s own the Fly Boys, who decided to make their own version, called “All About That Ass.” It’s a dirty, explicit, and triple-x-filled sex romp that will either make you laugh or cringe. We caught up with the group’s Dino…
The mighty MSG Crew are a band of spraycan warriors so notorious their crew name rings bells from Budapest to the gates of hell, and their battle-scarred fists serve testament to a baptism by concrete, paint, and razorwire. Their souls, however, are free as aerosol blasting from a new can…
Hank Schloppin was gloriously drunk. So drunk he slid off the bench in a Munich beer garden and found himself under the heavy oak of a raucous communal table. The cool air below offered a welcome respite from the clamor of activity above. Then a pointy finger in his shoulder…
Former NBA star Shaquille O’Neal has plenty of Gold Bond money to invest in his heralded traveling comedy show. He’s also fired his old promoter and inked a new contract to take over the venture. Eighteen years ago, HCE Live began throwing club nights deep in the heart of black…
D-Mac aims to be the first rapper out of Miami’s notorious Brown-Sub section of Liberty City to make a global impact in music. And the new video for his track “Mind State” off his Destiny mixtape makes it perfectly clear that he will settle for nothing less. He is the…
Yesterday at Circle House, a girl fainted just from being in the same room as 2 Live Crew. She fell while standing up as the guys were interviewed by DJ Mad Links. Thankfully, she wasn’t hurt, and she didn’t break anything, so the fellas kep it moving. For Fresh Kid…
Jorge “Jokes” Yanes is one of the most respected filmmakers in Miami. Almost ten years before Youtube, when the TV news was still editing on Beta tapes, Yanes built his own computerized editing system in his family’s home from Chinese parts bought in Doral. He’s done every job on every…
Jay Z once cut Little Beaver a $60,000 check to sample “Party Life” for the movie American Gangster. The artist also known as Willie Hale is a Miami guitarist so legendary that Jaco Pastorius, called the greatest electric bass player of all time, used to hang out at the TK…
Lil Dred could be the Slick Rick of Liberty City. His storytelling rhymes are movie-like. His raps are fire. And he’s about to hit the avenue with 10,000 copies of his new Hosted by the Streets EP He learned the hustle from his dad, Nate “The Great” Brooks, a three-time…
Is America ready for a ski trip to Miami? Fresh powder is about in hit TNT like a brick to the face. The TV show based on the movie Cocaine Cowboys, currently being called “Untitled Cocaine Pilot” has officially been greenlit for a pilot by the network. It’s being brought…
