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In honor of the 305 being the best basketball city in the world, here’s a poem about how big a bucket of Loserade the Miami Heat will dump all over the Atlanta Hawks at AmericanAirlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) beginning at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday:
There once was a team named the Hawks, who played like a bucket of rocks.
Their game was so lame it brought shame on the name of Atlanta and even their boss.
Their coach was the worst in the league. Their players were always fatigued.
What a pitiful sight every time they took flight; they were losers before they took off.
They couldn’t pass ketchup or salt. They couldn’t dunk doughnuts at all.
When they jumped, they would fall, couldn’t run, only crawl; they were tall for no reason at all.
Their defense was ugly as sin. Their offense was terribly thin.
So there was no surprise that their city would rise to buy Heat jerseys out at the mall.
Just kidding, folks. The Hawks are a great team, and it’s gonna be an awesome game. Tickets cost $10 to $328. Call 800-653-8000 or visit miamiheat.com.
Tue., Oct. 14, 7:30 p.m., 2014
