We have no idea how a tax refund works. All we know is Uncle Sam is a greedy bastard all but one day of the year, when he sends us a fat check with no strings attached. What a nasty little sycophant. That government check just scorches our wallet if…
Ronnie E. Bass Sr. has lost quite a few teeth over the years. Smoking crack and spending 21 months in jail did the damage. Rock also separated the old man from his computer-whiz son, whom he hasn’t heard from since the early 1990s. Yet Pops takes in stride that his…
Last month, Riptide told you about Jeremy Marie, the Frenchman whose hitchhiking journey around the world had stalled in Miami after he couldn’t find a boater willing to give him a ride over the Caribbean Sea. New Times, as it happens, knew firsthand of the difficulty of Marie’s task. In…
We have no idea how a tax refund works. All we know is Uncle Sam is a greedy bastard all but one day of the year, when he sends us a fat check with no strings attached. What a nasty little sycophant. That government check just scorches our wallet if…
Consider this blog post to be an ark of common sense with which you can safely navigate this week’s moronic flood. Yep, the stupids really rained down on us since the last installment. Let’s get started: 5. Caleyo Daryl Machado, alleged weed grow house robber So this upstanding Miamian is accused…
This week, Riptide told you about Stephen Koschal, the Brickell memorabilia detail who’s been the world’s leader in selling art by executed serial killer John Wayne Gacy (we have no idea what’s going on in the comments section of that story, by the way). Today we bring you the ten…
[jump] The Marlins ended up winning in extra innings, no thanks to Núñez, or most every other member of a bullpen that did its best impression of a seven-layer burrito — you know, just inviting runs. Núñez blew over a fifth of his save chances last year. If given the…
Brickell resident Stephen Koschal peddled serial killer John Wayne Gacy’s creepy paintings
Remember Dwyane Wade’s baron nemesis Richard von Houtman? You know, Wade’s incessantly inflammatory former business partner with a sketchy past, sued by the Miami Heat superstar last May after he claimed in an e-mail to Heat coach and president Pat Riley that Wade was using cocaine and steroids? Well, he’s…
In the early ’90s, serial killer John Wayne Gacy spent his days on death row creating extraordinarily creepy paintings of clowns. So memorabilia dealer Stephen Koschal wrote the murderer in prison and offered to be his agent. Brickell resident Koschal estimates he sold 150 of the paintings by Gacy, who…
This week, believe it or not, was a relatively intelligent one in South Florida. We had a Miami Gardens minister buying Rolls Royce Phantoms for drug dealers, and a Miami Heat player’s penis made an unexpected cameo, but all in all, it was mostly quiet on the moron front. You…
Three filmmakers acting homeless get equipment stolen at Miami Denny’s
Suge Knight sues Kanye West and the Shore Club
From cocaine to black-market cigarettes, Miami has long been America’s preferred gateway for smugglers. Add Chinese steroids to the list.Last week, Miami feds charged 36-year-old North Carolina resident Eric Davis — nicknamed “Triple H”– with distributing steroids through the Internet. His alleged co-conspirators, Michael “Gasman” Reich and Timothy “Bossman” Tate,…
Last Thursday night, Florida International University football player Kendall Berry was stabbbed to death with a pair of scissors on campus. It doesn’t seem like it could get much worse than that. But an FIU Police officer tells Riptide that students are lucky that the under-equipped and undermanned department was…
Graduating from college sucks. Drawing penises on your friend’s forehead is no longer socially acceptable, everything costs money, and potential employers regard your expensive diploma like a sheet of Charmin. Kevin Saftner, Drew Dayton, and Galen Sisco, three 24-year-old buddies from Pittsburgh, know this all too well. Their college education…
Last year, Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez won the National League batting title, so this past Saturday, team owner Jeffrey Loria gave him a pendant spelling out his batting average — .342 — in 394 diamonds, with a big teal diamond for the decimal point. Hanley then nearly choked on a…
Today, a rare Anti-Moron of the Week is awarded to the mystery football player who recently told serial proselytizer Tim Tebow to “Shut the fuck up” when he asked for a pre-Wonderlic prayer at the NFL combine. While there’s no guarantee it will indeed cause Tebow to STFU in the future, one…
A psychic predicts where Dwyane Wade will end up next year
Apparently, there’s more excitement about the upcoming Florida Marlins season than previously thought. This reasonable proposal was found on a bathroom wall — Churchill’s? — and relayed to Deadspin:…
They live, as quietly as cloistered monks, among us. They wash our dogs, write our blogs, prepare our taxes, and, you know, do other things people do for a living. They are Florida Marlins fans. They do exist — 600 at a time.OK, so Miami doesn’t have the most rabid fan…
The Miami Herald has a ton of financial problems. Now they have to contend with an incessant Frenchman who claims he’s driving a stake through the paper’s heart in his homecountry’s court. And once he’s done burying the daily, Mickael Cohen is coming to destroy New Times. In November, we…
