The Five Real Reasons That Cop Just Pulled You Over

On the police report, it will say something like “observed vehicle swerving erratically. Issued verbal traffic warning. Officer detected aroma of marijuana.” But in reality, says Ofc. Frank Adams– the renegade 15-year Miami-Dade veteran who this week claimed to New Times that he watched his fellow officers severely beat an…

The Craziest Things Said During the Summer of LeBron

LeBron James tore a hole in the fabric of the universe when he announced on live television he was joining the Miami Heat. And wow, did people say some really dumb/crazy things about it. Here’s our compendium, in roughly chronological form, of the looniest and most mind-melting quotes from the…

Maggots in the Chicken at People’s Bar-B-Que?

Either a pair of respected Miami-Dade Corrections officers have concocted an outlandish, disgusting hoax for a few thousand dollars, or Miami’s best barbecue joint served maggots with its chicken. Either way, consider us grievously disillusioned…

Meet Orestes Gonzalez, Busted in a 200-pound Horse Meat Sting

Miami-Dade County’s once-burgeoning horse meat black market has become a foolhardy trade due to prowling undercover cops and a new Florida law sending equine-flesh-peddlers to prison for a year. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of criminals still determined–or dumb–enough to sell horse meat. “A lot of people are…

“Mountaintop Waterdrop”: Watch Joaquin Phoenix’s Documentary Trailer, Try Not to Gag

Here is the first trailer for Joaquin Phoenix’s college project went-crazy-for-a-year documentary, I’m Still Here. There’s a guy with a “the dude abides” voice talking about mountaintop waterdrops and other Zen things while Phoenix does his best Zach Galifianakis impression, including angrily hurtling himself into a crowd at the Fontainebleau’s LIV nightclub…

This Is the Most American Sign in America

This sign (there’s a larger photo after the jump) hangs in the window of a spy supply store on Biscayne Boulevard at NE 137th Street, right across from a Dairy Queen drive-thru lane, which somehow seems appropriate. The only thing more ‘Merican than paranoia and patriotism, after all, is a 1,000-calorie…

Five Miami Heat Reality Shows That Need to Be Made

We here at Riptide like the sordid side of things. And while we’re hoping that, come the end of the 2010-11 NBA season, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh are lobbing a championship trophy to each other as they ride dolphins through Biscayne Bay, we’re also hoping for a…