Miami-Dade cop Frank Adams: Colleagues lie
Miami-Dade cop Frank Adams: Colleagues lie
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LeBron James and crazy quotes
LeBron James and crazy quotes
The Five Real Reasons That Cop Just Pulled You Over
On the police report, it will say something like “observed vehicle swerving erratically. Issued verbal traffic warning. Officer detected aroma of marijuana.” But in reality, says Ofc. Frank Adams– the renegade 15-year Miami-Dade veteran who this week claimed to New Times that he watched his fellow officers severely beat an…
The Craziest Things Said During the Summer of LeBron
LeBron James tore a hole in the fabric of the universe when he announced on live television he was joining the Miami Heat. And wow, did people say some really dumb/crazy things about it. Here’s our compendium, in roughly chronological form, of the looniest and most mind-melting quotes from the…
Carmelo Anthony (or a Twitter Hacker) Offers $5K to Smack Kat Stacks
Slapping Kat Stacks has become America’s new national pastime. Now Denver Nuggets basketball star Carmelo Anthony apparently wants in on the action. Aventura resident Kat Stacks has made a bizarre career out of allegedly bedding Z-list rappers with Muppet names (think Gudda Gudda) and then taking to videos, her blog,…
Hot Tip From a Reader: Gator Hunters Are Hung Like Guppies
Sometimes we get tips from readers that are completely off-kilter and bizarre. But then we get a true hum-dinger that awakens our inner Woodward and Bernstein and has us jumping into our I-Team van to investigate further…
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Riptide Takes Half a Million Dollars in Cars for a Spin
I am probably the least qualified exotic car reviewer in the world…
Hanley Ramirez’s Ginger Dye Job Has a Magical Effect on His Bat
Hanley Ramirez showed up at the Mets’ Citi Field last night with a splotchy reddish dye job that made him look like the deranged love child of Sisqo and Ronald McDonald. But he had four hits in the Marlins’ win, so we’re guessing he’ll stay with the look. Turns out…
Beach Heat: Miami’s backstage brouhaha
Beach Heat: Miami’s backstage baloney
Did People’s Bar-B-Que serve up a side of maggots?
People’s Bar-B-Que serves up a side of maggots
Maggotgate: People’s Bar-B-Que Closed After Failed Health Inspection
Yesterday, Short Order reported a horror story from a customer of People’s Bar-B-Que: Rosanna Perry says she dug into some sauce-slathered chicken and the whole piece started “writhing” with maggots. In response to the story, a health inspector made a surprise visit to the Miami soul food staple. It failed…
Maggots in the Chicken at People’s Bar-B-Que?
Either a pair of respected Miami-Dade Corrections officers have concocted an outlandish, disgusting hoax for a few thousand dollars, or Miami’s best barbecue joint served maggots with its chicken. Either way, consider us grievously disillusioned…
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Meet Orestes Gonzalez, Busted in a 200-pound Horse Meat Sting
Miami-Dade County’s once-burgeoning horse meat black market has become a foolhardy trade due to prowling undercover cops and a new Florida law sending equine-flesh-peddlers to prison for a year. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of criminals still determined–or dumb–enough to sell horse meat. “A lot of people are…
Taser-toting police zap animals and grannies
Taser-toting police zap animals and grannies
Scott Storch Wanted for Stealing a Fan in Suburban Illinois
Sort of. According to the Tri-Cities Blotter, a group of grifters recently tried to use our favorite erstwhile Palm Island Lothario’s name to steal a $330 Dyson fan…
“Mountaintop Waterdrop”: Watch Joaquin Phoenix’s Documentary Trailer, Try Not to Gag
Here is the first trailer for Joaquin Phoenix’s college project went-crazy-for-a-year documentary, I’m Still Here. There’s a guy with a “the dude abides” voice talking about mountaintop waterdrops and other Zen things while Phoenix does his best Zach Galifianakis impression, including angrily hurtling himself into a crowd at the Fontainebleau’s LIV nightclub…
Moose, Pigs, a Phillies Fan and Grandma: Let’s Tase ‘Em All!
Last week was a busy one for Taser-toting police officers in South Florida. First, Key West cops used their stun guns on a local luminary armed with a ninja sword and a baseball bat who was ranting about a dude who owed him $160. Then, our sister paper in Broward…
Video: Dwyane Wade Crushes the Souls of Several Children
If the NBA were a Disney sports movie, the Miami Heat would be the team of freakishly large, scowling kids who pull up to games in an all-black bus, wear Dolph Lundren buzz cuts, and scare the crap out of the scrappy underdogs. The upcoming season will be a lot more…
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This Is the Most American Sign in America
This sign (there’s a larger photo after the jump) hangs in the window of a spy supply store on Biscayne Boulevard at NE 137th Street, right across from a Dairy Queen drive-thru lane, which somehow seems appropriate. The only thing more ‘Merican than paranoia and patriotism, after all, is a 1,000-calorie…
Terrorists Bomb Colombian Radio Station Just Before Riptide Is Scheduled for “Castro Death Meter” Interview: Coincidence?
This morning, Riptide was all set to go on Spanish-language Radio Caracol (1260 AM) to finally reveal how our Castro Death Meter really works. How do our high-priced scientists determine, with such accuracy and consistency, the precise level of Fidel Castro’s death, time and time again? Then the Colombian radio…
Fidel Castro Death Meter
Fidel Castro Death Meter
Five Miami Heat Reality Shows That Need to Be Made
We here at Riptide like the sordid side of things. And while we’re hoping that, come the end of the 2010-11 NBA season, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh are lobbing a championship trophy to each other as they ride dolphins through Biscayne Bay, we’re also hoping for a…