Armin van Buuren

Time once again to round up that favorite European-born friend-with-benefits (and funny teeth) and bop over to Space for whatever pops into Armin van Buuren’s head. Sure, van Buuren is another staple spoiling the fashionatti around town with frequent appearances, but it’s that time of year to count your blessings…

Rhett y Los Borrachos Empeñados

Genial Cuban-American four-piece Rhett y Los Borrachos Empeñados (Rhett and the Pawnshop Drunks) fills Jazid’s air with retro-Latino this week. For more than six years, the band has worked on perfecting a mix of salsa, balladry, funk, and rock that plays with the ideas of chamber music and symphonics. The…

Oscar G

No two words go better together than open and bar, which is one of the things you can experience at Space this Saturday. There is a catch, but it’s more than livable: Bring a new unwrapped toy as a donation to Toys for Tots, and you’ll get free admission and…

Phil Weeks

Journeyman French DJ Phil Weeks will be inspiring the soiling and subsequent washing of your dirty laundry at Laundry Bar when he brings it for a one-off on December 15. It’s true, too — the washing machines are available at 7:00 a.m., so if you’ve been really, really rotten, you…

Jive Collective

In case we didn’t get you to break down and check out Jive Collective at its last Jazid show, luck is with you, because the band will be there again December 11. Bar-goers weary of the house/trance same-sameness everywhere in the city might find Jazid something of a sanctuary, even…

Ready and Able

It’s been awhile since Olivia Newton-John won a Grammy — 1984 actually — but crusading spirits do prevail. At age 58, she is prevailing her way across the States, promoting breast health and singing the standards that brought her international fame. She’s all about health nowadays, after surviving breast cancer…

Sasha

Over at Space, a Digweed-less Sasha will light up his Mac for the up-all-nighters, hoping to wipe the been-there off of their faces via an ever-changing mix of mantle-deep house and experimental downloads fresh off the boat. Constantly barraged by new MP3s from electro-tweaking hopefuls around the world, the superstar…

Paul Van Dyk

For all the disaffection you might feel over being spoiled with another Paul Van Dyk performance in Miami, one look at his roots is enough to see he has had quite the struggle getting here. “At one time I only earned one deutsche mark a day,” he reminisces of the…

The Moroder the Merrier

The great cultural seesaw between New York and Miami tilts southward, sending one of the Big Apple’s icons sliding into Twilo, fittingly enough. The transplanted superclub, nixed during Rudy Giuliani’s near-thorough cleansing of high-end places that tend to dump heaps of bloody MDMA casualties at emergency room doors, will be…

Tobacco Road’s 94th Anniversary Party

If Tobacco Road were a person, it would be pinching the nurses at Shady Pines and talking smack about Eliot Ness while it cackled its dentures off. The city’s oldest bar/restaurant/café turns 94 on November 17, an occasion that will be marked by an eight-band Miamipalooza on three stages. “The…

Teddybears

Of all the cameos on the Teddybears’ Soft Machine full-length, Neneh Cherry’s “Yours to Keep” read-through is the Abba-est. By the coda, she’s so enchanted with the thing’s happy-ass-ness that she breathes a satisfied, geeky “yeah!” as the final sound. These guys have quickly become more important to TV advertising…

The Slits

With the a-for-anarchy branding still legible on their pocked backsides after 30 years, the grandmammies of chick-punk return to recite the dub lessons that reggae producer Dennis Bovell beat into them during their brief fling with Island, which ended after their angry round-filing of the label’s highly round-filable memo about…

Unleashed

No new hamster-wheel-metal earth scorched here, but the mixture is high-octane if anyone is still living and dying by this genre. Unleashed is a black-metal band in a death-metal body, singing like pirate-oafs and pretending to admire Mastodon’s riffing here and there but forever falling back to Bathory-style three- and…

Frequency in Stereo

In space no one can hear you be hip, thus it’s probably a blessing that the Low Frequency cultured its sound in Haugesund, Norway, likely as close to space as it gets. Despite the muffled, Unwound-like vocal production, the group can’t hide its bubble-radio training wheels. There’s fighting Norse blood…

Weird Al Yankovic

Irony of ironies, Al is a well-established entertainment brand himself, fat and tough-looking nowadays, so when he gives “Dontcha,” “Float On,” and Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” a simultaneous Sledge-O-Matic-ing from his accordion in one oh-the-humanity medley (“Polkarama!”), you sort of have to picture Kip from Napoleon Dynamite doing an Al imitation…

Whitey

Like the Teddybears, Whitey carries a beer-bar-danceable message from Europe, but where Teddybears want (and do, in fact, own) the TV-commercial airwaves, these guys have scummier things up their collective raincoat sleeve, namely alt-disco sleaze tricked out with Euro-dance beats, an odd way of reinterpreting Donovan Leitch’s deal and a…

What’s Funny?

These days everything punk comes in Sam’s Club sizes — numbers of bands at shows, for instance — and at count-em-27 songs, drummer Marky Ramone’s Start of the Century two-CD set includes Ramones covers and pretty much everything the Intruders ever put on tape in the Nineties. Rancid’s Lars Frederiksen…

Support Imbeciles

It’s not often you’re handed the opportunity to receive some express dentistry while giving to charity. Spikefest is a gig to benefit Dirty Rotten Imbeciles guitarist Spike Cassidy, whose recent colon cancer diagnosis (and possible metastasis) eighty-sixed a 2006 tour. While on forced hiatus from D.R.I., drummer Rob Rampy has…

Scandalously Hard

Women are positioning themselves to stick it to men once and for all. Not content with bum-rushing the academic world by earning degrees, females are targeting anything considered male-sacrosanct, including prog-metal. Under the constant threat of being completely written off as the dumber sex, men must start to enhance their…

Totimoshi

Even more bliss-driven than last year’s Mysterioso?, Totimoshi’s new record is reflective of the band’s recent road haul, which probably would have made for good reality TV — with the bandmates’ Halloween-mask-fetishism, semibabe bass player, and creative raps they must have devised to explain to hicks that no one in…

Taught to Be Taut

Taught to Be Taut Ska. Go ahead, laugh if you will. Much like a current genre label of the same length (hint: It begins with e and ends with o), it quickly became a musical four-letter word as soon as it appeared on mainstream radar. But something like Darwinism applies…

Slow V and Retrospect

Second-guessing the state of commercial hip-hop could become the next no-budget ESPN thing once Celebrity Poker buggers off. You’d need look no further than Slow V and Retrospect to find a couple of locals eager to expel some froth on cable or anyplace else. “Today’s clubs, to me, are like…