Thursday
Whether you like him best in his scene-stealing sidekick roles or as a standup comedian, Kevin Hart has no doubt made you laugh even if you didn't want to. His latest projects include his autobiography, I Can't Make This Up, which came out in June, and the film Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, which was released December 20. He's going back to his roots at the Hard Rock this week, so be prepared to fan yourself through certain hilarity. 8 p.m. Thursday, December 21, and Friday December 22, at Hard Rock Live, 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood; 800-854-2196; seminolehardrockhollywood.com. Tickets cost $170 to $700.
Miami is a multifaceted city with certain facets getting more representation than others. The high-priced clubs playing repetitive house beats into the wee hours? Definitely overrepresented. It's been RnBae's mission to give space and representation to local R&B, and the collective of creatives has garnered enough of a following to make it to its first anniversary. Celebrate RnBae's birthday with flower crowns; DJs Juanny Depp, D Jane, and Illusion; and a free shot of Jack Daniel's for the first 50 baes in line for the show. 9 p.m. Thursday, December 21, at Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 305-699-2669; rnbae.com. Admission is free.
In Miami, there's seldom a reason to wear a sweater, never mind an ugly one. This is why American Social's Ugly Sweater Party is so essential. Without it, what would happen to that knit monstrosity your great-aunt gave you last year? Don your favorite fiber nightmare and head to Brickell for cheap bottles of Stoli, liquor, beer, wine specials, and even a chance to win prizes. The femme among us can enjoy free Stoli drinks from 10 p.m. till midnight. Who knows — maybe after a drink or six, that sweater will start to look good on you. 8 p.m. Thursday, December 21, at American Social Brickell, 690 SW First Ct., Miami; 305-223-7004; americansocialbar.com. Admission is free.
If you've watched Beavis and Butt-Head or played Guitar Hero, you've probably heard the Reverend Horton Heat. Since the mid-'80s, the band's psychobilly mash of country, punk, surf rock, and swing has consistently brought generations of angsty kids on ADHD meds together to mosh. It's good, clean fun, really. Frontman Jim Heath's showmanship will leave you feeling like you just got hit by the holy spirit. 7 p.m. Thursday, December 21, at Revolution Live, 100 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale; 954-449-1025; jointherevolution.net. Tickets cost $28 to $30. See page 32 for more about the Reverend Horton Heat.
Why lose your mind looking for last-minute gifts in a herd of other anxious mall shoppers? Instead, shop under the stars with a drink in hand at the Support Local Market, where local vendors abound with gifts from the small and casual to the well crafted and indulgent. Get fun and unique pop-up cards from Open Card Now, or give someone the gift of green with plants from the Little River Garden Box. The market will be open Thursday through Saturday, for every gradient of procrastination. 5 p.m. Thursday, December 21, and Friday, December 22, and 2 p.m. Saturday at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
Friday
Ball & Chain is often forgotten as a music venue despite the sheer volume of concerts the nightclub puts on. If you've gone all year without attending one, make it to the Lauren Henderson show Friday or Saturday. The chanteuse pulls from American jazz and Afro-Caribbean influences in music that straddles several genres. If you're hungry for more, you can also catch Palo! performing later Saturday night. 6 p.m. Friday, December 22, and Saturday at Ball & Chain, 1513 SW Eighth St., Miami; 305-643-7820; ballandchainmiami.com. Admission is free.
It can be difficult to satisfy obscurity-fetishizing record collectors and dance-addicted club rats at the same time, but Psychemagik does both. Made up of U.K. natives Danny McLewin and Tom Coveney, the duo takes an almost spiritual approach to psychedelic mixes and edits. They'll kick off the weekend with a show that should take you places both physically and psychically, so maybe don't overdo it with the LSD beforehand. 10 p.m. Friday, December 22, at Floyd, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 786-618-9447; floydmiami.com. Tickets cost $10 to $15.
You don't need more corny holiday music in your life. But the Ten Tenors can't be cheesy, simply by virtue of their talent. They're capable of singing everything from opera to Mariah Carey, and you'll get exactly that range at their concert of seasonal songs. Coming all the way from Australia, the group has been touring in various incarnations since 1997, so the Ten Tenors must be getting something right. Catch them just before Christmas. 8 p.m. Friday, December 22, at the Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-6722; arshtcenter.org. Tickets cost $30 to $100.
Saturday
DJ Oski is back with another goody bag brimming with local music for the 11th-annual Jingle Bell Rock. Twenty-one bands across three stages would fill the night, but the festival will also celebrate Xotic Yeyo's latest album release, give away lotto tickets, and collect toys for children in need. Show up wearing your ugliest sweater and you could win $50. Think of it as a present from the local music gods. 8 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Admission costs $10.
Plenty of us were introduced to Kwanzaa in school or heard about it in the laundry list of holiday inclusion, but its history and principles aren't as widely known as its more religious counterparts. This year, Delou Africa has organized a Kwanzaa Celebration that will not only present the seven principles of Kwanzaa but also celebrate with drums, dancing, and an address by educator and youth advocate Emily Gunter. You can bring an offering of fruit, vegetables, or nuts for the unity table. 4 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Little Haiti Cultural Complex, 212 NE 59th Ter., Miami; delouafrica.org. Admission is free.
Cuban-American chanteuse Yoli Mayor told New Times she learned to sing before she learned to speak. That's probably how, two decades later, she found herself crooning to Heidi Klum and Howie Mandel on America's Got Talent. The Miami native's distinctive voice will bring holiday joy during a concert on the Wynwood Yard's Simple Vodka Stage. With Celia Cruz as one of her major influences, the singer-songwriter will offer the perfect soundtrack to a tropical holiday. 7 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
The Rotilla Project, an electronic-music and hip-hop festival held in Cuba, drew a whopping 20,000 attendees in 1998. Then it was halted by the Cuban government — but that didn't kill it. Director and founder Michel Matos will relaunch the event at Miami's Manuel Artime Theater this week. Called Remembering Rotilla, it will introduce the Magic City to artists who participated in the Cuban festival, including those still living on the island and those in its diaspora. It's all about free expression and celebrating Cuban talents, so dale! 7 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at Manuel Artime Theater, 900 SW First St., Miami; festivalrotilla.com. Admission starts at $10.
