Whether you like him best in his scene-stealing sidekick roles or as a standup comedian, Kevin Hart has no doubt made you laugh even if you didn't want to. His latest projects include his autobiography, I Can't Make This Up, which came out in June, and the film Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, which was released December 20. He's going back to his roots at the Hard Rock this week, so be prepared to fan yourself through certain hilarity. 8 p.m. Thursday, December 21, and Friday December 22, at Hard Rock Live, 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood; 800-854-2196; seminolehardrockhollywood.com. Tickets cost $170 to $700.
Miami is a multifaceted city with certain facets getting more representation than others. The high-priced clubs playing repetitive house beats into the wee hours? Definitely overrepresented. It's been RnBae's mission to give space and representation to local R&B, and the collective of creatives has garnered enough of a following to make it to its first anniversary. Celebrate RnBae's birthday with flower crowns; DJs Juanny Depp, D Jane, and Illusion; and a free shot of Jack Daniel's for the first 50 baes in line for the show. 9 p.m. Thursday, December 21, at Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 305-699-2669; rnbae.com. Admission is free.
In Miami, there's seldom a reason to wear a sweater, never mind an ugly one. This is why American Social's Ugly Sweater Party is so essential. Without it, what would happen to that knit monstrosity your great-aunt gave you last year? Don your favorite fiber nightmare and head to Brickell for cheap bottles of Stoli, liquor, beer, wine specials, and even a chance to win prizes. The femme among us can enjoy free Stoli drinks from 10 p.m. till midnight. Who knows — maybe after a drink or six, that sweater will start to look good on you. 8 p.m. Thursday, December 21, at American Social Brickell, 690 SW First Ct., Miami; 305-223-7004; americansocialbar.com. Admission is free.
If you've watched Beavis and Butt-Head or played Guitar Hero, you've probably heard the Reverend Horton Heat. Since the mid-'80s, the band's psychobilly mash of country, punk, surf rock, and swing has consistently brought generations of angsty kids on ADHD meds together to mosh. It's good, clean fun, really. Frontman Jim Heath's showmanship will leave you feeling like you just got hit by the holy spirit. 7 p.m. Thursday, December 21, at Revolution Live, 100 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale; 954-449-1025; jointherevolution.net. Tickets cost $28 to $30. See page 32 for more about the Reverend Horton Heat.
Why lose your mind looking for last-minute gifts in a herd of other anxious mall shoppers? Instead, shop under the stars with a drink in hand at the Support Local Market, where local vendors abound with gifts from the small and casual to the well crafted and indulgent. Get fun and unique pop-up cards from Open Card Now, or give someone the gift of green with plants from the Little River Garden Box. The market will be open Thursday through Saturday, for every gradient of procrastination. 5 p.m. Thursday, December 21, and Friday, December 22, and 2 p.m. Saturday at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
Ball & Chain is often forgotten as a music venue despite the sheer volume of concerts the nightclub puts on. If you've gone all year without attending one, make it to the Lauren Henderson show Friday or Saturday. The chanteuse pulls from American jazz and Afro-Caribbean influences in music that straddles several genres. If you're hungry for more, you can also catch Palo! performing later Saturday night. 6 p.m. Friday, December 22, and Saturday at Ball & Chain, 1513 SW Eighth St., Miami; 305-643-7820; ballandchainmiami.com. Admission is free.
It can be difficult to satisfy obscurity-fetishizing record collectors and dance-addicted club rats at the same time, but Psychemagik does both. Made up of U.K. natives Danny McLewin and Tom Coveney, the duo takes an almost spiritual approach to psychedelic mixes and edits. They'll kick off the weekend with a show that should take you places both physically and psychically, so maybe don't overdo it with the LSD beforehand. 10 p.m. Friday, December 22, at Floyd, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 786-618-9447; floydmiami.com. Tickets cost $10 to $15.
You don't need more corny holiday music in your life. But the Ten Tenors can't be cheesy, simply by virtue of their talent. They're capable of singing everything from opera to Mariah Carey, and you'll get exactly that range at their concert of seasonal songs. Coming all the way from Australia, the group has been touring in various incarnations since 1997, so the Ten Tenors must be getting something right. Catch them just before Christmas. 8 p.m. Friday, December 22, at the Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-6722; arshtcenter.org. Tickets cost $30 to $100.
DJ Oski is back with another goody bag brimming with local music for the 11th-annual Jingle Bell Rock. Twenty-one bands across three stages would fill the night, but the festival will also celebrate Xotic Yeyo's latest album release, give away lotto tickets, and collect toys for children in need. Show up wearing your ugliest sweater and you could win $50. Think of it as a present from the local music gods. 8 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Admission costs $10.
Plenty of us were introduced to Kwanzaa in school or heard about it in the laundry list of holiday inclusion, but its history and principles aren't as widely known as its more religious counterparts. This year, Delou Africa has organized a Kwanzaa Celebration that will not only present the seven principles of Kwanzaa but also celebrate with drums, dancing, and an address by educator and youth advocate Emily Gunter. You can bring an offering of fruit, vegetables, or nuts for the unity table. 4 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Little Haiti Cultural Complex, 212 NE 59th Ter., Miami; delouafrica.org. Admission is free.
Cuban-American chanteuse Yoli Mayor told New Times she learned to sing before she learned to speak. That's probably how, two decades later, she found herself crooning to Heidi Klum and Howie Mandel on America's Got Talent. The Miami native's distinctive voice will bring holiday joy during a concert on the Wynwood Yard's Simple Vodka Stage. With Celia Cruz as one of her major influences, the singer-songwriter will offer the perfect soundtrack to a tropical holiday. 7 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
The Rotilla Project, an electronic-music and hip-hop festival held in Cuba, drew a whopping 20,000 attendees in 1998. Then it was halted by the Cuban government — but that didn't kill it. Director and founder Michel Matos will relaunch the event at Miami's Manuel Artime Theater this week. Called Remembering Rotilla, it will introduce the Magic City to artists who participated in the Cuban festival, including those still living on the island and those in its diaspora. It's all about free expression and celebrating Cuban talents, so dale! 7 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at Manuel Artime Theater, 900 SW First St., Miami; festivalrotilla.com. Admission starts at $10.
Can anyone do Dickens better than Dickens? The Hensons can. A Muppet Christmas Carol was directed by Brian Henson in memory of his genius father Jim. With Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge and the Great Gonzo as narrator, the film is a truly delightful spin on this classic tale. Spend Christmas Eve with your Muppet family (instead of or in addition to your actual family) at Nite Owl Theater. Nothing this season will give you the warm and fuzzies like this classic. Noon Saturday, December 24, at Nite Owl Theater, 3930 NE Second Ave., #201, Miami; niteowltheater.com. Tickets cost $10.
What is a single, young Jewish person to do on Christmas Eve? Celebrate with other young happening Jews at the annual MatzoBall! Put your chopsticks down, grab your best dancing outfit, and get out to this megaparty. People have been finding love and dancing the night away at this self-described "epic one-night stand" for 31 years, so you know organizers know what they're doing. Tickets will sell out, so move swiftly. Let MatzoBall be your matchmaker. 9 p.m. Sunday, December 24, at Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami; facebook.com/MatzoBallPage. Tickets start at $50.
If you're a Jew who loves to eat Chinese food on Christmas, head to the Freehand for the Chrismukkah Chinese Food Take-Out Pop-Up. The shindig will go down at the Broken Shaker's cocktail bar. What a gorgeous and delicious idea: a hip, poolside holiday evening with gourmet cuisine like local smoked-fish fried rice, with coconut fried rice, pickled pineapple, and cured egg yolk. It's even a reasonable excuse for gentiles to skip Noche Buena. Sorry, Abuela. 6 p.m. Monday, December 25, at the Broken Shaker, 2727 Indian Creek Dr., Miami Beach; thefreehand.com. Admission is free with RSVP. Menu items cost $10 to $15.
Ever wonder about Peter Pan's backstory? So did David Magee, the man who wrote Finding Neverland. It's the story of playwright J.M. Barrie, who was inspired by a widow and her four young children's wild stories to write about the boy who never ages. The exciting tale of Barrie finding Neverland is told beautifully through song by Tony-winning theater director Diane Paulus in the musical production of the tale. The show will fill the Arsht Center with plenty of pixie dust and addictive tunes. 8 p.m. Tuesday, December 26, at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; arsht.org. Admission starts at $29.
The history of the Miccosukee is fascinating. The tribe is an offshoot of the Seminoles but has its own traditions, which you can check out at the Miccosukee Indian Arts & Crafts Festival. There's no better way to spend a clear December day than experiencing this authentic culture in the River of Grass. Watch fancy dancers, admire the talents of aboriginal artisans, point at alligators from a safe distance, and take an airboat ride. This year's performers include the Great Plains Dance Company, Joe Tohonnie Jr. & the White Mountain Apache Crown Dancers, Sky Iroquois Smoke Dancers, and Lightning Boy Hoop Dancers. 9 a.m. Tuesday, December 26, at Miccosukee Indian Village, Mile Marker 36 on Highway 41, Miami; miccosukee.com. Admission starts at $6.
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First came the art, then the music, then the breweries. Yes, Miami is now a budding hot spot for beer-making. South Beach may be all bottle service all the time, but the mainland is more invested in hops these days. Lincoln's Beard Brewing is celebrating the first anniversary of its talent and performance showcase, Backroom Sessions, with a Best of Backroom Anniversary party. Get weird at the beard while sipping a cup of P. Swayze while swaying to local live music. 7 p.m. Tuesday, December 26, at Lincoln's Beard Brewing Co., 7360 SW 41st St., Miami; bestofbackroom.splashthat.com. Admission is free with RSVP.
There's nothing quite like an in-state rivalry. So be sure to link up with your pals from Central Florida and head to the American Airlines Arena, where the Miami Heat will face the Orlando Magic. Though our hometown boys lost the last game against the Magic, this time they'll harness the transformative elements of the pending new year to coast to victory. If not, hey, at least a Florida team won. 7:30 Tuesday, December 26, at American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; aarena.com. Tickets start at $34.
There's nothing quite like enjoying the great outdoors and a movie in the Miami winter air. This Wednesday, wind down at the Barnacle's Up Past Bedtime Movie Night, where you can lounge in pajamas on the park's lawn. Bring flashlights and lawn chairs to watch 1999's endearing kid flick The Iron Giant. The animated movie tells the story of a boy who finds friendship with a giant robot from outer space. The only rules: Enjoy yourself and leave your pets at home. 7 p.m. Wednesday, December 27, at the Barnacle Historic State Park, 3485 Main Hwy., Coconut Grove; floridastateparks.org. Admission costs $5.