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Five Reasons to Give Your Middle Finger a Break

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It's ugly.
Ask yourself: Have you ever been turned on by anyone flipping the bird? Unlikely. That's because raising your middle finger also has disastrous consequences for your face -- scrunchy, scowly, middle-finger-specific consequences that are in no way attractive. And let's be honest: even if you're telling a real jerk to fuck off, you need all the help you can get in the looks department.

You look like a child.
It's hard to argue with the immaturity of the middle finger. After M.I.A. flipped off all of Footballwatchingdom, Madonna called the gesture a "teenager" move. Y'know what else teenagers are known for? Acne and body odor and Justin Bieber fandom. If you really want to piss a person off, just blast that "Baby" song at him until it's stuck in his head.

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle