Audio By Carbonatix
Independent Journalism in Miami Needs You
We need to raise $10,000 by August 9 to support the reporting our community depends on. Reader support keeps us independent and is playing a larger role in funding local journalism and shaping what comes next. If you believe independent local journalism matters, make a contribution today.
What’s fat, funny, loves dope, and makes Howard Stern laugh?
We haven’t seen Artie Lange in Miami since January last year, when he was promoting his book Too Fat to Fish at Book & Books in Coral Gables.
He was hilarious — a cool, humble dude who signed everybody’s books and took a million pictures, and we’d love to have him back in the 305.
Well, the 41-year-old was recently rushed to a New Jersey hospital for unreported reasons.
Lange has had numerous problems with drugs and alcohol, and like John Belushi, Chris Farley, and Jerry Garcia before him, he also loves to eat and smoke cigarettes.
Instead of throwing Lange under the bus for the stupid shit he does, we’d rather celebrate it.
Here are our top five pics of Artie Lange eating.
5. Artie Lange eats a cupcake
Notice the jowls, fierce determination, and infinite consumption. Lange loves a good cupcake.
4. Artie Lange with fast-food take-out
Fat guy? Check. Sweatpants? Check. Fast food? Check. Lange is a living stereotype.
3. Artie Lange loves pancakes
So, Artie loves pancakes. So, what? A lot of people love pancakes. Fuckin’ everybody loves pancakes. But everybody is not on Howard Stern’s show. Lange’s love of pancakes is infamous.
2. Artie Lange eats another cupcake
Mmmmm, tenth cupcake of the day. Before noon.
1. Artie Lange with a drink, a smoke, and a smile
Drinking and smoking and eating 50 cupcakes a day might be directly linked to heart disease. At least the guy’s got a smile on his face.
