Illegal Cable and Streets With Five Names in Havy Rodriguez’s Hialeah Parody Song

Many of us in the 305 make fun of Hialeah. And why wouldn’t we? The addresses make no sense, no one speaks English, and it feels like you need a passport just to enter the city limits.

Curiously, though, a lot of cool stuff comes out of Hialeah too. Like Hialeah Fest, which takes place in, ahem, Little Haiti at Churchill’s Pub.

Another example: Satirical singer-songwriter Havy Rodriguez’s new parody song about illegal cable and other weird shit in the Independent Republic of Hialeah. It’s called “Comprate una casa en Hialeah.”

See the cut for Havy’s video and a full English translation of the lyrics.

Hi, I’m Havy RodriguezAnd I dedicate this song to the prettiest city in the worldMany do not know your geographyOthers don’t value your economyBut I sing to my people
Buy a house, my brotherWelcome to my HialeahBuy yourself a house in HialeahWhere there’s traffic every dayWhere every street has five namesWhere when it rains, you need a boat, damnBuy yourself a house in HialeahI adore your ghetto-nessWhere houses have up to fifteen efficienciesI don’t speaking EnglishYours just in case MariaWhy should I speak English if I live in the Independent Republic of Hialeah
Fried pork bellySugar cane juiceHoney berriesDominosCafé con lecheIn every corner 
The rafter who worksUntil he’s about to explode The city raising taxesIn Navarro and Farm Stores, everything’s expensiveGo to Sedano’s or Presidente
What I earn at the factory isn’t enoughThe blame lies with Fidel,  damnHow cheap to buy my metro piece of shit
Hey broIn Hialeah you get lost even with a GPSYou get lostCity that progressesIn corruptionFull of cheap, shitty carsAccident clinicsIn your warehouses, the panties are a dollarIllegal cableTo save money
Buy yourself a house in HialeahWhere there’s traffic every dayWhere every street has five namesWhere when it rains, you need a boat, hellBuy yourself a house in HialeahI adore your ghettonessWhere houses have up to fifteen efficienciesI don’t speaking EnglishYours just in case Maria
What is it that you want, Maria?A house in Hialeah
What is it that you want, Maria?
A house in Hialeah What is it that you want, Maria?

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