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Six Other Public Figures Whose Tax Documents We’d Like To See

Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney released his tax returns this morning, the result of a long and whiny campaign by his opponents to counter his "I'm just an average dude" stance. Unsurprisingly, the documents show an income of $45 million, with $3 million paid in taxes and gifts of over...
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Miami Club Rum: A Distillery Tour (Photos)

You might miss the entrance to the Miami Club Rum distillery (2320 N Miami Avenue, Miami), housed alongside the locked galleries and thrift shops that line North Miami Avenue in Wynwood. The nondescript building is rather small when compared to most rum distilleries in the Caribbean, which come equipped with...
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What Makes Florida So Fun for Freaky Felons?

It's almost like he did it on purpose. In the same week New Times published the results of a weird-crime-off between Florida and Texas (which Florida won, duh), police arrested Tyree Lincoln Smith. The official charge: murder. The freaky details: Dude allegedly killed a man in Connecticut, then ate his...
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Five Embarrassing Presidential Bumps and Bruises

. Dude could probably whoop your ass, most certainly bench-presses more than you, and is undeniably a better hockey player. The 68-year-old Massachusetts senator rocked two black eyes and a broken nose to the State of the Union address this week, the result of a recent pick-up hockey game. Despite...
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Dwyane Wade’s Dad Ejected From Bulls Game For Dirty Mouth

Apparently LeBron James isn't the only Heat star with a sometimes embarrassing parent. Dwyane Wade's father, Dwyane Wade Sr., was ejected from the United Arena last night during the Bulls-Heat game, reportedly for yelling obscenities. Jeez, what a big fucking bag of dicks. Updated. ...
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Miami Rum Renaissance Festival: Ten New Rums You Haven’t Tried Yet

View photos from Miami Rum Renaissance Festival 2012 at Deauville Beach Resort here.The Miami Rum Renaissance Festival at the Deauville Resort concluded last evening with a 6:45 p.m. "last call", prompting event goers to rush to their favorite rum booth for one last mojito or shot of the elixir favored...
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The Unbelievable Paco de Lucia: A Career Overview

His name was not yet Paco de Lucia. The year is 1958. A portable Zenith Royal 500D transistor radio blares flamenco on the dock of a bustling fishing port in southwestern Spain. Seagulls circle, schooners and charter boats sit anchored, and tough-looking men begin to unload cargo. The air is...
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Fix-a-Flat Butt Doc Oneal Morris Arrested Again

Oneal Ron Morris, the unlicensed "doctor" arrested last year after allegedly injecting substances like caulk and fix-a-flat tire sealant into the rear end of a patient, has been arrested again. Morris turned herself into to Broward Sheriff's Deputies yesterday on new charges of practicing medicine without a license after three...
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Rap Music’s Top Six Paternity Suits

Did you know that Ol' Dirty Bastard had 13 kids, three of whom he neglected to pay child support for in 1997 alone? Illegitimate children are overwhelmingly common in rap music. From Brooklyn to the Louisiana bayou, rappers' baby mamas have tried pushing paternity suits on their rhyming exes ever...
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52. Carolina Piggie Platter at Austen’s

It's that time of year when we count down to New Times' Best of Miami 2012 issue in June. Until then, Short Order will serve up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305. If you have any nominations of your own, please send them to cafe@miaminewtimes.com.As one of South...
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The Hood Internet at Mansion March 2

Though obviously rooted in the beat matching and live mixing of the disc jockey, the mashup, as we know it today, is a distinctly '00s phenomenon that revealed itself at the very beginning of the decade. And the modern blueprint for expertly splicing together two songs (often from mind-blowingly disparate...
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UM Study: Voters Prefer Candidates With Deeper Voices

Did Obama coast to victory just because he had a deeper voice than John McCain? Did Alex Sink lose to Rick Scott in the Florida governor's race because of her high-pitched southern twang? New research by a University of Miami political science professor suggests it may be part of the...
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Miami’s Top Five Falafel Sandwiches

Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. I have a dream in which I travel to the Middle East, gather all of the troubled tribes together, calmly ascend...
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Bocadillo Clandestino Is a New South Beach Lunch Secret

A little menu, maybe four inches by four inches, was left on my mailbox last week. It read, "Bocadillo Clandestino Lunch Menu" and had a Keith Haring-like drawing on the front that explained the process via images: sandwich, love, bicycle, happy people. Below it was useful information: "$10 Sandwich *...
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Will Miami Ever Be Home to a First-Class Bakery?

Despite being home to many James Beard Award-winning and nominated chefs, Miami continues to lack a first-class bakery. I'm not talking about those obscure places offering bland baguettes and lackluster pastries, and I definitely don't mean those cupcake shops that keep popping up just about everywhere. I'm talking about award-winning...