Opinion

Top 10 Old School Frozen TV Dinners and Bonus Vintage Ads

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10. Dining In - Frozen Sliced Beef Dinner: It comes with beef gravy, buttered peas, buttered corn, and whole potatoes and cost 39 cents.....what a ripoff. That crap looks worse than prison slop. We like it for the tin tray you can use to make one of those tanning things with that you always see in the movies.


9. Banquet Brand - Turkey Pie: Check this old Banquet turkey pie of horrors out. Sucker looks like a scary movie poster. Deep in the depths of the turkey hole abyss, there were peas, there was crust, and there was gravy...dun, dun, dun. And that "turkey pie" lettering? It looks like what you'd see tattooed on the back of a rampaging carnie's neck from your view taped up in the backseat of a rusted out Dodge.


8. Swanson - German Style Dinner: From the highly vaunted International Menu, get your ummlaut on with this sliced beef with sauerbraten gravy....Umm, I'm guessing most Americans from the time of this box didn't have the internet to google Sauerbraten Gravy with. For all they knew it could have meant "blood of a dumb American gravy," or "super grade F gravy," or "expired braten gravy." Maybe that's why they felt the need to write "Improved!" on the box. Nothin like eating something that needed improvement.


7. Morton - Ham Dinner with Raisin Sauce, Sliced Apples, Buttered Seasoned Peas, Sweet Potatoes: Is it just us or does that look like a pancake with rabbit turds on it. What the hell is up with that. Lookin like five black beans in a yellow puddle. Apples look like smashed pig entrails. Sweet potatoes look like some expired gummy slices that have been in the sun too long. The peas look good though. Tight work Morton.


6. Banquet - Macaroni & Cheese Dinner: First of all, what in the name of sex&drugs is a glazed carrot, like, what's it glazed with? Those peas look like the dental extracts from 80 Dade County crackheads. The design of the tray reminds us of the transformers symbol, but we're pretty sure that pyramid in the middle is part of some secret masonic new world order society. Is it just us or is the tri color background a blatant Pepsi ripoff?


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Jacob Katel
Contact: Jacob Katel