Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. ~Fran Lebowitz
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds. ~Joan Rivers
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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. ~Rita Rudner
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. ~Erma Bombeck
I like to have one martini, two at the very most... after three I'm under the table, after four I'm under the host! ~Dorothy Parker