Cookie Monster Veggie Monster: Top 5 Unhealthy Vegetable Meals

One of the top 10 searches on Google this hour is Cookie Monster Veggie Monster, and we are happy to report that the good old blue and cookie lovin' Cookie Monster the world knows and loves is here to stay, he will not be replaced by Veggie Monster as internet conspiracy theorists have feared for years. The Cookie Monster will however tend to promote cookie eating moderation and promote healthy eating as Sesame Street tackles the epidemic of childhood obesity head on. We repeat, Cookie Monster Veggie Monster will retain his blue fur and full cookie affiliation in name and personality.

In honor of the Cookie Monster staying true to his cookietude we present you our Top 5 unhealthy vegetable meals/dishes/preparations. Stuff that's bad for you usually tastes the best, so we're not saying we wouldn't eat these, but it's important to remember that food is not healthy purely by virtue of vegetable content. Here's the proof.


5. Iceberg Wedge Salad: Most people agree that iceberg lettuce has little to no nutritional value. Add a heaping unhealthy load of bacon, ham, and buttermilk dressing and you've got yourself a heart attack salad.
4. Greenbean Casserole: Aright, so greenbeans are good for you. But when you cook them, bake them, butter, fried onion, cream of mushroom, extra cream, extra butter, and pork fat them, the dish falls well short of healthy.
3. Boiled Cabbage: It's boiled, it's cabbage, it's crunchy, it's soft, you can do a million things with it, but you can extrapolate its nutritional value from the way it looks when you boil it, like a blank canvas.
2. Boiled Yuca: Once the yuca is boiled to the point of zero nutritional value it is drowned in bath of butter and garlic. Delicious, but deadly. Often served with pig, as seen below.
1. Tempura Zucchini Blossoms Stuffed With Mozzarella: Take a flower, stuff it full of cheese and fry the hell out of it and you've got yourself a bite that will have your stomach saying thanks and your heart saying 'why are you trying to kill me, please don't kill me.' Enjoy.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jacob Katel
Contact: Jacob Katel