But even as they sink into the depths of the NL East, the Fish probably shouldn't think about giving up that day job.
The Wall Street Journal scoured the media guides of all 30 MLB teams today and ranked the clubs based on their book-learnin'. The Fish ended up somewhere between Ferris Bueller and Jeff Spicoli on the academic achievement charts.
The Journal's list looked at how many players on each team went to four-year universities and how many ended up with degrees. The Marlins tied for 28th -- that's third-to-last, in case your math skills are on par with the Fish.
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Of course the top team in the rankings, those damn stuck-up Oakland A's (whose roster includes reliever Craig Breslow, a Yale grad with molecular biophysics and biochemistry degrees) are also sitting in last place in the real-life standings.