The Right Arm of God Crushes King Douche Into Fine Powder

I've always liked ESPN's Jeffri Chadiha. He's what a sports anchor/writer should be. Intelligent, insightful, and, most importantly, not a douche. Unlike scrotum slapping jackals like Skip Bayless or Sean Salisbury, who like to yell and spit and play the role of the tough ornery guy without saying much of anything at all, Chadiha just talks sports. But, again, you've probably never heard of him because he's not a dick. Nor has he ever taken a picture of his dick on his phone to show it off to others. That, apparently, is what ESPN requires from their on-air personalities. Disney loves a good cock picture!

With all that said, I may just have to induct Chadiha into the FN Hall of Fame for his latest column. In it, he proclaims the greatest truth in all the universe. Namely that The Right Arm of God was and is a better quarterback than King Douche. Now while that may be an obvious statement for most of you, there's a large number of cockrockets out there that like to get caught up in the now and ride the flavor of the moment bandwagon until it crashes and burns and everybody dies, and everything gets burned to a crisp. Except for the little black box. Remember when everybody was proclaiming Peyton Manning as the greatest? That was like, a year ago. Randy Moss arrives in New England and suddenly, Manning is no longer the greatest.

Chadiha points out that what makes Marino's '84 season better than Brady's '08 season was that the NFL rules for wide receivers were different, among other things. He then lists the greatest single-season performances of all time. Marino, of course, tops the list.

Tom Brady is great, to be sure. But Tom Brady can go suck a bag of dicks.

Dan Marino is the greatest. Period. -- Chris Joseph

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Tovin Lapan