Sushi to Your Door -- Maybe

We received very exciting news yesterday and we just had to share it with you. Now, we know that you Beach dwellers loathe leaving the island. Heck, you don't even want to leave your condo, since you paid so much money for it and you now realize that with an economic downturn you are going to be stuck with that bitch for a long time. (Boo hoo.)

Well, now you can sob into your sashimi and drown your sorrows in sake since your local sushi joint, Doraku, will now deliver right to your door! (Okay, please don't get too distracted by their Website which, by the way, is one of the most annoying Flash disasters that we have ever seen. And, no, those are not marijuana leaves following your curser, you pothead; those are Japanese maple leaves.)

Hmm ... now wait a second. What's that? They will only deliver within a six-block radius? Um, I can walk that in less time than it would take a stoned college student to hop on his People scooter and wend his way around Hummers and buses. Hey, but I don't have to worry about that since they won't deliver to me anyway (I'm in the seven-to-eight-block radius. Damn!)

Instead of this breaking news press release, maybe they should have just sent another college student to flyer the Flamingo, since those are about the only Beach residents who will benefit from this fabulous service that is not even free (a two-dollar charge per delivery will be added to your order).-Lyssa Oberkreser

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Frank Houston