Palin proudly wears a coat made of the toupees of all the male politicians she beat out.

Sorry Charlie Crist, McCain Picks Palin

After months of speculation, turns out Gov. Charlie Crist won't be number two on the Republican ticket. Instead McCain picked Alaska Gov. Sarah "PUMA bait" Palin.

Buzz that Crist would be McCain's number two peaked about the time the guv announced his engagement to female-socialite, Carol Rome. Many, well, everyone saw the engagement as a well-timed tactic to ease rumors that Crist was some sort of secret homosexual, or at least a sad, over-tanned 52-year-old confirmed bachelor. Then the talk became that Crist wanted the spot way too much, like in a creepy, submissive sort of way. He gradually fell from the top of the Veepstakes buzz index. The bad news for Crist comes in a week that also saw his popularity in Florida drop.

But now that he doesn't have to worry about being a heartbeat away from running the Free World, Crist will have more time to spend with his beautiful fiancee, whom he loves very, very much.

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Palin meanwhile will be the first female to appear on a national Republican ticket, which probably has nothing to do with trying to lure disgruntled Hillary voters. Her age and inexperience are already under attack, but supporters are quick to point out democratic nominee Barrack Obama's faces the same criticism.

Oh, and did you see Obama's speech last night? If Palin can deliver one even half as good next week in Minneapolis, maybe we wouldn't worry as much.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

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