You know what happens when you mix a vehicle with five-foot tires, alcohol, self-proclaimed rednecks and Florida? That's right, something is getting smashed. Unfortunately, the thing that ended up getting smashed at the Redneck Yacht Club's annual "Swamp Cabbage Weekend" (yes, you read that correctly) was the first car of a 16-year-old girl.
Besides being held on the same weekend, "Swamp Cabbage Weekend" literally sounds like the Red Neck Oscars. People with scarlet-hued napes from across the country gather on the ground of the Red Neck Yacht club in Charlotte County, Florida and bring jacked up monster trucks and vans. They then drive around in the mud all willy nilly.
Norman Nowling, 40, of Fort Myers took the revelry a bit too far, according to the Herald-Tribune. Nowling came in a giant camouflage-painted van outfitted with five-foot diameter tires. Needless to say, people wanted to see him smash something. Someone apparently told Nowling to smash the 1994 Toyota Corolla because "the owner didn't care."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
So he preceded to run it over at about 3 a.m on Saturday.
Unfortunately, it turns out the 16-year-old owner of the car did care. She had been off in a mud pit with her friends, and wasn't pleased to return to find her first car completely totaled.
Police showed up a few hours latter and promptly arrested Nowling on charges of criminal mischief.
Here's his truly classy truck: