Humor

One-Legged Drug Dealer Attempts to Hop Away from Police in Jacksonville

What do you call a drug dealer with one leg trying to escape from police? Caught.

No, this isn't open mic night at the Chuckle Hut, this is quite naturally real Florida news.


Police in Jacksonville got a tip that black GMC SUV was carrying narcotics on Tuesday afternoon, according to the Florida Times-Union. An officer found a car matching the description and pulled up behind it. That's when 27-year-old Ariosto Wyman got out of the passenger seat and attempted to flee.

Unfortunately for Wyman his right leg had been amputated below his knee. According to the arrest report he "began to hop down the sidewalk away from [police]." Mind you, according to his booking data Wyman is 5'6" and 300 pounds.

He didn't get far, and police didn't even bother chasing him. They merely called him, and he decided to hop on back. Good call, considering he probably didn't have much of a chance at escape otherwise.

Police searched him an uncovered a baggie of marijuana and 120 grams of cocaine on his person. A digital scale with cocaine residue was also found on the floorboard in the car next to Wyman's single shoe.

Wyman now faces four drug charges, and one count of operating a vehicle with a suspended license.

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Kyle Munzenrieder