OJ, Phone Home

C'mon Juice.

You tried to hustle us with that book about if you did it.

And now you're being investigated for trying to steal from a casino.

You've got a problem. You shouldn't be living in Kendall. You should get yourself to a nunnery. And fast. Or maybe to a kleptomaniac/killer/bad writing treatment center for guys who have run 2000 yards in a year. There's one outside the Football Hall of Fame in Canton,. we hear.

Or at the very least, rip off something in Miami next time. This is the weird news capital of the world and we like it that way.

Chuck Strouse

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Chuck Strouse is the former editor in chief of Miami New Times. He has shared two Pulitzer Prizes and won dozens of other awards. He is an honors graduate of Brown University and has worked at newspapers including the Miami Herald and Los Angeles Times.
Contact: Chuck Strouse