Five Times Josh Rosen Showed Huge Character Flaws

Josh Rosen during his crazy college days.
Josh Rosen during his crazy college days. Eric Chan via Wikimedia Commons
click to enlarge Josh Rosen during his crazy college days. - ERIC CHAN VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
Josh Rosen during his crazy college days.
Eric Chan via Wikimedia Commons
Thanks to a draft-day trade, quarterback Josh Rosen will start the second year of his NFL career with the Miami Dolphins. Maybe you heard about this. Some folks are fans of the idea. Others — namely, well-known character flaw expert and part-time Miami Herald Dolphins beat writer Armando Salguero — hate the idea of Rosen being a part of the Dolphins franchise.

What, you might ask, could have Rosen done to get such a bad reputation in the exclusive, Salguero-source circles? We wanted to know too, so we did a little homework and the results were troubling.

Here are a few of the examples we could find (you know, like, actual examples, not generalizations) that Rosen is a "dick."
1. Rosen got in trouble at UCLA for arranging his neighbor's lawn ornaments in a naughty way. If there is one thing NFL teams hate, it's quarterbacks who arrange lawn ornaments in the shape of a penis. If general managers have seen it once, they've seen it a million times — moving a neighbor's reindeer so it appears they are having intercourse is just a gateway drug.

Back in 2014, it seems Rosen and a couple of his friends crossed the line that cannot be uncrossed. They placed a neighbor's lawn ornaments in sexually suggestive positions. That's basically how Johnny Manziel got started down the wrong path! Huge red flag. Put it in the character concern column.

2. Josh Rosen is a known environmentalist. Josh Rosen has interests outside of football. This concerns some, apparently. They say this would be understandable if Rosen was interested in reenacting scenes from Fast and Furious or Point Break. Or maybe if he owned strip clubs. But in Arizona, the skeptics were annoyed that he (huh?... checks notes) cares about the environment.

Josh Rosen doesn't want your children to need gas masks to go to Publix. What a distracted dork!

3. Josh Rosen believes in himself and it's disgusting. After the Cardinals selected Rosen with the tenth overall pick in last year's draft, he was pissed off. The way he saw it, the nine teams that declined to select him made a big mistake. Rosen felt he was the best player in the draft.

Who does this person think he is, with his confidence, and, like, swagger? Sit down; be humble, Josh. Everyone knows when you've been told since you were 11 years old that you're the best thing since the air fryer was invented, you're supposed to doubt yourself.

Self-esteem is not allowed in the NFL. Unless you're a player we like. You know, like, Tom Brady. Or J.J. Watt. If they say they're the best, they're leaders You want to win, go into battle with them. Garrrrrr!

4. One time in college, Josh Rosen broke a dorm rule. Remember college dorms? You know, the place where Eric in 101B sold Xanax and all the 18-year-old freshmen definitely didn't binge drink? Yeah, Rosen stayed in one of those places. He didn't have to. Nope. He's freaking rich. He did it because he wanted the "college experience." Things turned south, though, when Rosen skipped page 167 of the college handbook where it clearly states, "Hot tubs are cool only in hot tubby places."

Minor misunderstanding. No ordering hot tubs on Amazon and putting them in your dorm room. NOTED. Geesh. So many rules.

5. Josh Rosen quit tennis when he was a kid so he'll probably quit football, too. Once upon a time, Josh Rosen was the best under-12 tennis player in the United States. He was a tennis boss. Then he got hurt, spent some time away from the hobby, and found out he actually liked girls, friends, and most importantly, football much more than tennis.

For some people, this might be a big problem. If Rosen quit tennis because of other interests, he could check out on football for the same reasons, they believe. Apparently, none of these people comprehend that Rosen was 12 years old. Maybe they have never been 12 years old?. Well, folks, 12-year-olds do things, then stop, then do other stuff. Because they are 12. (I played drums in 1990. In 1992 I did not play drums. Shit happens.)

In conclusion: Josh Rosen doesn't have any documented real character flaws. He was a kid once, then a college student, then a cocky/confident 21-year-old millionaire. Seems pretty normal to me. 
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi