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Mugshots Friday: Hair Curlers, Hemorrhoid Heads, and Dad-O-Vision

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We now return to our regular non-holiday programming. To ensure that no deserving booking photo gets ignored, we are going back three weeks just this time and bringing you a veritable short bus chock full of glorious dysfunction.

Arrested: 12/14

Charged with: Assault

Talk about trouble. If Miami were a woman, this is what she would look like.

Arrested: 12/25

Charged with: Battery

Ah, the elusive Emo-farian: The Sasquatch of mugshots.

Arrested: 01/03

Charged with: Battery

The worst part about the clink: They took away his overalls and separated him fron Luigi.

Arrested: 12/29

Charged with: Carrying a concealed weapon, grand theft

We should never be on a jury because we would immediately vote to convict any defendant with this haircut. We posit that no decent human being-- besides maybe some bassist in a teenage bachata band whose record label made him do it-- has ever gone for the shoulder-length ornate cornrows look.

Arrested: 12/31

Charged with: Trespassing, battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence

When some pinche cop busts open your nose and lips you can either give him the pleasure of looking all forlon and pathetic in your mugshot or you can pucker up and tell him what you did with his sister last night.

Arrested: 01/04

Charged with: Assault

It was the night Ms. Lockhorn heard just about one too many of Leroy's jokes about her meatloaf.

Arrested: 12/24, 12/29, 12/31

Charged with: Burglary; heroin possession with intent to sell, cocaine possession

Man, we're getting hemorrhoids just looking at these bald naked red dudes.

Arrested: 12/24

Charged with: Trespassing

He's smiling because though he may be under arrest in this dimension, his Second Life avatar runs free.

Arrested: 12/31

Charged with: Aggravated stalking with a firearm, domestic violence, battery on a law enforcement officer

We've enabled Dad-O-Vision for this photo. This is actually a scrawny 13-year-old boy asking to take your daughter to the junior high prom.

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