Mugshots Friday: Black Juggalo, "Hotel California" Personified, "Clueless" Sidekick

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 11/4

Charged with: Not listed

I never really got the song "Hotel California" until I saw a picture of a dude who blacked out in 1977 and came-to like four days ago.

Arrested: 10/30

Charged with: Trespassing after warning

Sentient weeping willow tree, how many animals make their home in your branches?

Arrested: 11/5

Charged with: Trespassing after warning

Is this really supposed to be here, or is it the book jacket photo of my elementary school art teacher's self-published memoir, True Colors?

Arrested: 11/6

Charged with: Cannabis possession, paraphernalia possession, petty theft

Why is this so blurry? Contact high is a real thing, friends.

Arrested: 11/5

Charged with: Grand theft

This is one of those "personality shots" from elementary school where they'd make you pose next to a football if you had gelled hair and opposite an easel if you were artsy/frail. The photographer saw her haircut and just scribbled dumb shit all over her face because he didn't have a prop to signify that punk is dead.

Arrested: 11/7

Charged with: Cocaine possession

When your entire body is covered in cocaine, you're kind of asking for the cops to search you.

Arrested: 11/5

Charged with: Not listed

For years, this guy has been wearing Benetton polos and sporting this haircut, hoping that the Clueless TV spinoff would get picked up for a fourth season. Eventually, his friends had an intervention to tell him he'd never get to play Murray's goofy but lovable sidekick on a derivative UPN sitcom for middle-schoolers. He went insane and turned to a life of crime.

Arrested: 11/5

Charged with: Burglary of an unoccupied dwelling

Until five seconds ago, I didn't think there were any black Juggalos. I don't think this guy is necessarily one, but I did just Google "black Juggalo," and I found a whole Facebook group dedicated to them. There were only 66 members, granted, but they did post this message: "Common Misconception That Juggalos Are Racist Because There Mostly White. But We Dont See In Black And White, We See Either Juggalos Or Haters! All Races Are Welcome To Be A Juggalo And If You Are A True Juggalo, You Will Be Accepted No Matter What." I honestly find this really heartwarming and cute, so I thought I'd share.

Send your story tips to the author, Allie Conti.

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