Michael Moore Spotted at Miami Weight Loss Spa, Conservatives Make Fat Jokes

America is known for its mature, reasoned and respectful political discourse... oh, who are we kidding? When a partisan figure is spotted at a weight loss clinic the other side takes the opportunity to make loads and loads of fat jokes, because American politics have basically devolved into a kindergarten playground. So, yes, Michael Moore was recently spotted at a Miami weight loss spa, and yes conservatives made fat jokes.

The Daily Caller -- the partisan news site run by perpetually bowtied former TV host and former Dancing With the Stars contestant Tucker Carlson -- claims that in mid-November Michale Moore had checked into the Pritikin Longevity Center and Spa at the Doral Golf Resort & Spa.

"He didn't look like he wanted to talk," says their clearly legitimate source." And neither did I. But he sure was fat, even fatter than he looks on TV, like he'd gained a hundred pounds."

As further proof The Daily Caller says Moore has checked into the center before and used their "heavy eating" method to lose 30 pounds before. They also offer an appearance on the November 22 episode of Keith Olbermann's show in which Moore appeared before a backdrop of Miami as further proof.

"Given his girth, it's not like he would be hard to spot," writes The American Thinker. "If we can judge from recent photos, Moore had apparently worked his way up to consuming anvils, truck bumpers and bales of hay."

Of course, conservatives can make these jokes because the Republican party only accepts fit politicians like Haley Barber, Mike Huckabee, and Chris Christie.

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Kyle Munzenrieder