Miami is one of the most selfie-obsessed cities in the world, so it only makes sense that we're all obsessed with Instagram.
But even if a picture speaks a thousand words, it certainly seems like Miamians keep saying a lot of the same things. We can't help but broadcast photo evidence of all the awesome places we go with all of our awesome friends, nor can we hold in our visual bragging and narcissism. This leads to a lot of the same types of a pictures crossing the feeds of Miami's Instagram crew.
So in the interest of sparking some photo creativity, we've illustrated some of our city's biggest Instagram clichés using our very special model (a ripoff Barbie doll from a dollar store) and our phone's camera app.
Before we jump in, we realize our choice of "model" could suggest we're attacking lady Instagram habits in particular. But in Miami, each and every one of these categories applies to both genders. Every single man in Miami who has ever done one situp has posted at least 30 shirtless selfies on his feed.
1. The "I Went to Wynwood and Took Lots of Pictures of Myself in Front of Murals"
Hundreds of the world's most talented street artists and muralists have come together for one reason: to make Wynwood the world's greatest outdoor selfie studio! Well, that's basically all it is nowadays. It's just all selfie sticks and amateur photo shoots galore. Murals do make great backdrops, though. Hey, even Beyoncé did it.
If it's not craft, it's not a cocktail! Yummy sriracha honeysuckle Absolut special-edition cosmorita! Lol! #ModelAndABottle #CraftCocktail #Pregaming #drinks #alcohol #girlsnightout #gettingwhitehirlwasted #lol #sofun #makingmemoriesiwontrememver #blessed #cute #blonde #IDontHaveAProblem #IJustNeedToBlowOffSomeSteamSometimes #MoreLikeAllTheTimeLol
2. The "Look at the Overpriced Liquor I'm About to Get Drunk On"
If you're going to spend $18 on a fancy cocktail, you might as well brag about it on social media. Never mind the fact no one really wants to see photos of brightly colored liquid.
3. The "Wow, the Sky Looks Really Awesome Right Now"
Yes, the sky in Miami can be absolutely breathtaking. We know because every time it happens, there's at least five pictures of it in our feed. We'll excuse it, though, because we know y'all are just bragging to your friends up north.
Went to my co-worker's cousin's boutique grand opening last night that benefited a rare disease that affects bisexual orphans. Got to walk the red carpet! #imsofancy #youalreadyknow #vip #redcarpet #stepandrepeat #nextkimkardashian #charity #feelsgoodtohelpothers #blonde #cute #hottie #charitablebabe #taxdeductable
4. The "I Went to An Event and Someone Took a Photo of Me So I'm Reposting It"
Does it really even count as going out if you didn't get your photo taken by the professional photographer on hand? Sure, anyone can take a photo of themselves, but clearly not everyone can have their photo taken by the lady who was paid $150 to take photos of everyone in attendance at some so-called VIP function.
5. The "Beach Legs"
Wow! You live in Miami and you occasionally go to the beach! So fascinating!
6. The "Yeah, I Work Out"
Actually, almost everything else on the list we can excuse from time to time, but gym selfies really need to stop. About half of these shots look gross and sweaty, and the other 50 percent make you look like an idiot for taking a photo of yourself in the middle of a crowded gym.
7. The "Look How Many Friends I Have"
You know the person this really hurts: the friend your forgot to invite. She's just sitting at home making the most passive-aggressive Instagram ever right now.
8. The "I Paid a Lot of Money for This Food"
The "look at what I'm eating" Instagram trend is nothing new, nor is it confined to Miami, but it's so prevalent that we needed to include it here.
9. The "I Was Somewhere Fancy and Exclusive"
Miamians love having their photos taken when they're at some of the city's fanciest spots. Members-only social club-slash-hotel Soho Beach House deserves special mention because to deter rampant cell-phone selfies, management set up manual photo booths that spit out nondigital photos -- yet they still somehow wind up online.
10. The "Here Are Some Random Club Lights"
This is always a sad one. It means you're at the club but you're not having a good time. You don't look good, so you don't want your photo taken. Or your friend ditched you to go make out with a stranger. Or someone is in a fight. But you still want all of your social media followers to think you're an awesome person who is having a good time, so you snap a photo of some random lights and upload it.
11. The "Look at This Cool Gallery Art, but Mostly Look at Me"
You don't go to a concert and turn around to have a friend take a photo of you with your back to the performers, so we're not sure why this is any different.
12. The "I Want You to Check Out My Body but I'm Trying to Be Low-Key About It"
Miamians who are proud of what they're working with will take any chance they can to show some skin on Instagram, especially when it doesn't look like they're being too thirsty. "Oh, just me at the beach... Oh, just me in bed. Whoops! Is that a bit of cleavage?... Oh, was just brushing my teeth and accidentally turned around to take a mirror shot of my butt."