Sports

Five Holiday Gifts Miami Sports Fans Actually Want

Miami sports fans don't want a lot for Christmas.
Miami sports fans don't want a lot for Christmas. Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images; screenshot via @Marlins Twitter
We're almost two weeks into our Advent calendar, the Cyber Monday deals have all expired, and precious time to get presents for friends and family is slipping away.

Though we can't help you with your holiday shopping (sorry, procrastinators!), we have compiled a wish list for local professional sports owners to give us.

Miami sports fans aren't asking for much this holiday season, but these five things would certainly make our lives better in 2022. We promise we've been good!

The Hard Rock Sportsbook App

This past week, Florida mourned a huge loss when the Hard Rock Sportsbook app went down. Apparently, we can't have nice things. While other states bask in the entertainment of wagering a few shillings on sporting events to make them a little bit more interesting, Florida has been robbed of the privilege after just one month of action.

Give it back! You're not the boss of us, laws! If we're old enough to fight for our country, we're sufficiently mature to lose $100 betting that the Miami Dolphins will cover the spread without Big Brother Grinch spoiling the fun.

Miami Dolphins Offensive Linemen

What do you get the Miami Dolphins quarterback in your life that is constantly running for his life? An offensive lineman, of course.

What could the Dolphins' second-year starter do in his third year if he had an offensive line that did its job? It's time to find out. Someone tell Santa that Tua Tagovailoa has been really good this year and that the offensive linemen will only make him great.

Whoever is making the free-agent decisions this winter must prioritize improving the worst segment of the team. Call it a belated Christmas present for Tagovailoa, even though it's one that all Dolphins fans will get to enjoy.

Miami Marlins Sugar Kings Merch

This season the Miami Marlins unveiled their City Connect uniforms honoring the Sugar Kings, a Triple A team that played in Havana in the 1950s. These are on par with Miami Heat's Vice jersey series, if not better.

Fortunately, the Marlins are running a holiday bundle that includes tickets to next season and some Sugar Kings cafecito cups. Jump on that if you love a Marlins fan.

Goran Dragic-Miami Heat Reunion

Do the Miami Heat actually need Goran Dragic to return to the team? Not really. Do they desperately want it to happen? Yes. Yes, they do.

Dragic isn't just great on the court, he's one of the most likable players the franchise has ever seen. With the announcement that he'll be stepping away from the Toronto Raptors for "personal reasons," many are speculating he may be on the trade block. If so, the Heat would likely be on a shortlist of teams the former Heat guard would join.

This holiday season, bring Dragic back to Miami. Not because he's needed — but because he's wanted.

A Drama-Free Florida Panthers Team

The Florida Panthers are good. Championship good. They were nearly as good last season but faced a slew of injuries and COVID protocols that torpedoed an otherwise electric year. This season, the Panthers have somehow already overcome prolonged absences by two of their best players — Sasha Barkvov and Anthony Duclair — and the firing of their Hall of Fame-caliber coach, Joel Quenneville, owing to sexual assault allegations from a decade before he arrived in Sunrise.

Can't the Panthers just live? That's all we want for the holidays. Let them be their best selves and see if it's enough to bring a title to the Sawgrass Mills Mall.
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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.