Miami Is Setting Up a "Pop-Up Pool" in New York, But No One Can Swim In It

New York City can sometimes get a bit hotter than Miami. In fact, NYC's temperatures over the next few days will peak in the 90s, while Miami is projected to stay in the 80s. So, it's a nice gesture that the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau is sending the citizens of New York City a pool.

Yes, on July 31 a Miami-branded pool will "pop up" in Union Square Park. Unfortunately, no one can swim in it. Which is kind of like letting a bunch of people look at ice cream, but not eat it.

According to Gothamist, the pool will feature "sexy, chic pool deck with bikini clad models, palm trees, cabanas, DJs spinning, and six hours of fun in the sun!"

Woah! Bikini-clad models and DJs? You don't say! Are there any other Miami clichés they forgot to include? Well, you know, tourism-friendly clichés. Clearly, face-eating zombies are out. Maybe some lady roaming the pool deck selling homemade empanadas, free chancletas, and that guy on Lincoln Road who's always dancing to '70s music. In any case, we hope that at least those DJs are playing some freestyle.

And there is one caveat: random NYCers will not be able to swim in the pool.

"Unfortunately for health/sanitary reasons the pool itself will not be open to the public," a parks department rep tells Gothamist. Instead, apparently only members of the media are officially invited, and they'll be driven there in private cars. Fancy!

That's sending a really cool message: Miami is totally fun ... for the chosen elite!

Of course, we're just hoping that New York sends us some fancy pop-up stunt in return. Hmm, what does NYC have that Miami doesn't? Art galleries? No, we have plenty of those. Professional sports dynasties? Wait, we're already working on that. Cuisine? Oh, we guess half of South Beach's restaurants are imported from NYC as it is. Designer fashion stores? No, we're doing just fine on that front.

What the hell could New York send us that Miami is totally lacking in? Maybe a pop-up 300-square-foot studio apartment with $1,500-a-month rent?

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