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Audio By Carbonatix
The Miami Dolphins are bad at football, and they should feel bad. Following a momentary rise above the service line for one last gasp of oxygen in last weekend’s win over the Atlanta Falcons, the Dolphins entered a matchup on Thursday Night Football against the Baltimore Ravens as a 2-6 mess, but a hopeful one. A fixer-upper, if you will.
They left as a total teardown 2-7 team following a humiliating and emasculating 28-6 depantsing at the hands of the Ravens, who didn’t even seem to be trying all that hard. After last night’s embarrassing loss, the Dolphins mutually parted ways with general manager Chris Grier.
Of course, as is now tradition, the internet had a good old time laughing at Miami’s expense, especially Tua Tagovailoa, who continues to create new and innovative ways to make meme gold.
Meme Moments: Tua Edition, Episode Infinity
Incredibly, Tua gifted the internet with a viral clip before the ball was even kicked against the Ravens. Amazon Prime cameras caught the Dolphins quarterback in the tunnel attempting – and failing – to give his teammates a pep talk as they ran out onto the field.
The only issue? What came out of Tua’s mouth sounded the part, but the math was not mathin”.
“We got 60 minutes tonight! 4 hours of pain!” he squawked at his teammates.
Yes. Many understood what Tua was trying to say — the actual game clock runs for 60 minutes, but in real time, the game itself takes three hours. Regardless, that’s a locker-room speech he will want to retire moving forward.
As the game progressed, what was a glimmer of early hope turned immediately into classic Dolphins ineptitude. A never-ending cycle of head coach Mike McDaniel calling in overly ambitious plays that Tua made look impossibly out of order on the field.
One user on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, hilariously analogized it to a human chef giving simple cooking instructions to a robot that didn’t exactly carry them out as intended.
With only a few seconds left before half and the Dolphins sitting around midfield, Miami had four seconds to decide whether to attempt an NFL record field goal or let Tua throw a Hail Mary into the endzone. Guess which one they picked.
Neither. Because Tua can’t reach the endzone, stupid. During the first play, Tua inexplicably attempted a one-yard out pass that left a single second remaining to chuck the ball into the endzone. Only he did not do that thing. Instead, he snapped the ball and laid on top of it. No points for that!
There are undoubtedly many Dolphins fans who own a Terry Rozier Miami Heat jersey (he of illegal gambling allegations by the FBI), so you can only imagine how triggering it is to watch Tua throw footballs directly into the ground with no defenders around him.
This user doesn’t come right out and accuse Tua of having under bets on DraftKings, but he does say the quiet part out loud.
Later that night, things took a darker turn. And the insults, well, they grew more hurtful, to say the least.
Of course, no Dolphins loss is complete without a Tua pass slowly arching through your television screen, only to fall into the hands of an opponent who sprints directly toward the opposite end of your Vizio.
Tua Turnova. Tua Turndaballova. He will never beat the allegations.
By the end of the night, it was a full-on Tua hate fest. After a week-long break from the wrath of the internet, it was back to your entire timeline being posts about how terrible Tua is at football and how his contract, set to pay him over $50 million a season for the foreseeable future, is the worst deal in sports.
As the game ended, just hours before the clock struck Halloween, the popular NFL Meme’s account dropped an epic troll job we can’t even be mad at, warning parents to check their children’s candy for dangerous items — like Dolphins tickets.
Damn, that hurts. But that’s funny. And funny is funny.
If you thought it was over when the game ended, you obviously have never watched a Tua postgame press conference, because that’s when his brain activity ends and the words spill out unchecked. This week’s edition of Tua Should Not Have Said That Out Loud featured Ravens fans being too loud as an excuse for disjointed play.
The only problem? THE DOLPHINS PLAYED AT HARD ROCK STADIUM LAST NIGHT. Tua, please stop talking. We are begging you.
Well, at least Miami is. The rest of the internet is having a great time.
As one X user put it, “We move” to 2026 NFL Draft coverage because the 2025 Dolphins are toast.
All things considered, the Dolphins’ season is now, officially, a lost cause. Winning every game left on the schedule would make them a 10-7 team fighting for a Wild Card playoff spot. That’s not only unlikely but impossible. Donald Trump and Joe Biden are more likely to trick-or-treat together tonight than the Dolphins are to reel off eight-straight W’s.
The only question now is how bad this season gets and how good the draft pick will be to make up for it.
