It's been a while since the card-carrying members of the Miami Heat Hate Machine have had any real reason to hate LeBron James with all their might. Mostly, they've tried to twist his words into discourses of pure evil, or take a certain gesture or facial expression out of context all to shoehorn their theory that LeBron James is truly the most repugnant human person alive.
Well, fear not, Dick-Biters! For LeBron James has taken to Twitter to reclaim his role as public enemy number one. Just after his former team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, lost their 30th game of the season to the Lakers last night, LeBron jumped on the tweet machine and let his feelings be known:
The bitchy karma in question refers to Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who famously penned an open letter about James. In the letter, Gilbert called LeBron narcissistic and referred to him as the "former King" and swore that the Cavs would win a title before James (haha good one, Dan!). Gilbert also said James would take the city of Cleveland's supposed sports curse with him to Miami.
The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Sleep well, Cleveland.
If he was specifically talking about the Dolphins, then.... well played Mr. Gilbert. But, the fact remains the Cavaliers have won a whopping eight games this season (that's one less win than the Heat have total losses). And the've been wallowing at the bottom of the NBA barrel for the entire season.
Of course, people have nearly broken twitter with their outrage over this. And we can see how the tweet is a tad irritating. Besides, the Lakers beating the Cavs had more to do with how shitty the Cavs are and less to do with Karma and God (the whole existence of this ongoing Celtics-Lakers rivalry is actually an excellent argument against the existence of a deity, or any form of order and justice in the Universe).
But at this point, LeBron might as well say fuck it and just be honest on twitter anyway. The guy could rescue a litter of kittens from a burning building and he'd still be vilified by his critics ("sure he saved those kittens at the risk of his own personal safety... but he completely neglected the gold fish. HE'S SO HEINOUS!")
We say give us more of these tweets, LeBron. The Cavs suck ass and you love it? Let it be known. Think Mark Cuban is an insufferable dicknosed asshole? Tweet away!
As for Cleveland, the sports curse looks to still be alive and well (we mean, 8 wins? C'mon!). The Heat, meanwhile, are on the verge of tying the all-time consecutive road wins record.
Cleveland and Dan Gilbert do have the golden voiced hobo. So, they got that going for them.
Sleep well, Dick-Biters.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.