Politics

Joe Garcia's Opponents Say Photos Show Congressional Candidate Buying a Dildo

We now live in a day and age when a former congressman running for his old job can’t peruse the sex toy aisle at Spencer's in peace.

Just ask Joe Garcia, who is leading polls in the Democratic primary for the 26th congressional district currently occupied by Carlos Curbelo, the Republican he most likely will face off against in November.

An unknown paparazzo recently snapped a photo of Garcia standing in front of a vast array of dildos and vibrators at the novelty chain’s store at Dolphin Mall. Wearing a crisp white guayabera and dress slacks, Garcia holds a couple of boxes of what appear to be sex toys.

“That was him buying a gift at the Dolphin Mall,” said Garcia campaign spokesman Juan Peñalosa. He declined further comment.


We don’t know for whom Garcia bought the items or whether he contemplated the speeds, durability, and battery life of the mechanical phalluses before his purchase. But this being the Golden Age of Oversharing, the photos made it into the hands of rabid, homophobic Miami right-wingers.

On Monday, self-described former journalist and Southwest Miami Senior High alum Rubi Valdes posted the photo on her Facebook page with the following caption: “News Just In; Joe Garcia Buying Sex Toys for His Own Personal Use According to Sources….”

Valdes did not respond to a Facebook message asking her about her post or her supposed "sources."

Then came the comments. A man named Ricardo Debayles wrote, “Joe Garcia es pato?” And Luis Jerez called Garcia “yegua.” In Cuban slang, the Spanish words for “duck” and “mare,” respectively, are used as derogatory terms for gay men.

Garcia, who reportedly leads rival and perennial candidate Annette Taddeo as the August 30 primary draws closer, served one term in Congress after beating scandal-ridden Republican Rep. David Rivera in 2012. He lost a tight race to Curbelo two years ago.
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Francisco Alvarado was born in Nicaragua and grew up in Miami, giving him unique insight into the Magic City and all its dark corners. An investigative reporter with a knack for uncovering corruption, Alvarado made his bones as a staff writer at Miami New Times and remains in dogged pursuit of the next juicy story.