There's a lot being said this week about the Miami Dolphins quarterback situation. Mainly, is this it for Chad Henne? This comes largely thanks to a three-interception performance by Henne during Monday's gash-fest against the New England Patriots. On Tuesday, ESPN analyst Chris Mortensen reported that Henne was going to be yanked as the starter, something head coach Tony Sparano has denied. Let the knee-jerk second-guessing commence!
Some are calling for the Dolphins to make a switch and replace Henne with Chad Pennington, who led the Fins to the AFC East title two seasons ago. Pennington, however, has come to Henne's defense:
"The last two weeks we've had over 900 yards of offense (actually 836), probably more than any offense in the league, so there's some really positive things to build on," Pennington said of the losses to the New York Jets and New England. "He knows that, and I know that, and I'm behind him 100 percent."
So, should Henne be replaced? Is he even the future franchise quarterback this team has been pining for since Dan Marino retired?
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At this point, it's hard to say. Henne is a good quarterback. Through the first four games this season, he has a 64.4 percent passer rating, 961 yards and 5 touchdowns. But Henne is also a maddening quarterback. He's displaying the same bad habits as a Dolphin that he had when he started at Michigan. He has a tendency to lock in on, and stare down, his targets. He tends to throw to his first-read, even if multiple defenders are covering said first-read. He plays too hurried. He can, at any given moment, throw a backbreaking, gut-punching interception -- or two, or three. It's not that he doesn't have the skill set, or even the potential. It's that he's not evolving (yet more evidence that he's a robot!)
It's understandable that some are calling for Chad Pennington to come in and replace Henne. But keep in mind that Chad Pennington's throwing shoulder has the same exact density of a Chinese fortune cookie. Pennington is downright the smartest, savviest, most knowledgeable player on the entire Dolphins roster right now. And if he didn't have the arm strength of a seventy-six year old woman, he'd no doubt be starting for this team.
The only obvious choice to fix this problem then is to chop off Henne's right arm, throw him away, and sew the arm onto Pennington's right shoulder. Then we'd have ourselves a fucking quarterback! An unstoppable Frankenquarterback who can read complicated defensive schemes and slice up secondaries with his erudite mind and bazooka arm, leading this team to multiple Super Bowls.
We here at Riptide are loaded with good ideas like this one. Call us, Coach Sparano!