Hurricane Irene's A-Comin': The Seven Types of Storm-Preparing South Floridians

Every year, the TV people with the perfect hair stand in front of big, swirling storm maps and tell us, in so many words, Holy fucking shit the big one is here.

It's how we prepare -- or not -- for an impending storm that defines us as South Floridians. Because more often than not, the hurricane that had the TV weatherpeople hyperventilating veers off or peters out. But not before there's been a stampede at Publix and an explosion in the Duracell black market.

With Irene set to pummel tickle us, it's time for some soul-searching: What kind of storm-preparer are you?

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Gus Garcia-Roberts