Somewhere in the world exists a person who has decided that it would be a good idea to upload 2,600 YouTube videos in which he mispronounces various names in a strange inflection. As part of this person's RunTheCube YouTube channel he has uploaded videos mispronouncing the name of every single player in the National Basketball Association, including the complete roster of the Miami Heat. It is strange. It is odd. It is the kind of thing that makes you ponder what exactly has become of our information super highway, and, in my case, apparently, my entire life.
Do you think these videos were produced, or at least conceived, under the influence of marijuana? Exactly though what type of weed would make a person make a person think this was hilarious? Do stoners usually have the ambition to undertake a project like this? Not in my experience. Perhaps there were other chemicals involved. I can be naive when it comes to drugs.
A couple times as a kid I found a baggie full of a substance I couldn't quite identify in my parents' desk drawer and I asked my mom what it was. She said it was tobacco for when they rolled their own cigarettes, and I thought that was real, real fancy. None of those crappy store bought cigarettes for my parents, no sir. They take the time to roll their own cigarettes. I was sort of proud. Then I realized my parents weren't regular smokers, but then I thought they must do it at the fancy adult parties they attended. Parties where common Marlboro folk were not allowed.
Do you ever think about how weird it would be if the internet had existed when your parents were growing up? Like, what if you stumbled upon your mom's old LiveJournal or MySpace page from when she was a teen? What if she ~*~*TyPeD lYk DiS*~*~ and had decorated her page in pictures like this? Would that make you love your mother any less? Do you even love you mother? Have even called your mother lately? I bet she'd like to hear from you.
Do you think the guy who made these videos will ever had kids? Do you think that maybe he does have kids and a loving wife? Do you think someone loves this man and he loves them back? Do you think that if his kids every found these videos they'd think less of their father? Do you think he hides his YouTube work from his family? Is he ashamed of these videos?
Does it bother you that his person could have found love and you haven't? Do you ever wonder whether you're even capable of accepting someone's love? Can you be loved? And if so, why is no one presently loving you? Why is it easier to find inane YouTube videos than love? Can you fall in love with an inane YouTube video? Is that the future of love?
Or maybe this person has Asperger's? I don't know that much about Asperger's, and I don't mean to be insensitive, but is that a possibility?
One time I was at a summer journalism program for High School students at the University of Florida, and a student there had Asperger's. Everyone made fun of him, and it was really, really difficult to see how mean people could be. He did a stand-up set of jokes from a knock knock book during talent night, and people were openly mocking him to his face, and it still kind of upsets me to think about it.
That whole week was kind of horrible. So horrible it made me rethink my plan of studying journalism at UF. Luckily I got a scholarship to the University of Miami where I pursued non-journalism endeavors. As you can tell from my current employment, I am somehow even more of a failure in non-journalism than I am in journalism.
Do you think the man who made these videos will ever step back from the computer and realize, in a sort of terror, what exactly it is he had done? That he had spent so much time creating such a bizarre YouTube channel? What will he think exactly? Will he seek help? Does he need help? Is this the work of a man who needs help? Don't we all need help?
Do you think this man went to college? What do you think he majored in? Do you think he finished his degree? Do you think he has work in the field he studied? Is this man professionally fulfilled? Is this the work of a man who is professionally fulfilled?
Do you wonder whether someone will rip this off? Will someone see these videos and think, "You know what, I could do this so much better?" And then that person will proceed to make his own YouTube channel full of odd pronunciations? Will that person make videos for every division I-A college football team?
If you were going to rip this off what kind of names would you pronounce? The names on the Vietnam war memorial? Every model who walked in every Spring/Summer '12 fashion week fashion show? The phonebook of an entire mid-sized city? The names of ever state legislator from every single state? What about U.S. territories? Would you include their politicians as well?
Don't you think what kind of words you would read would say a lot about you? I mean, this person obviously is a big basketball fan. Or maybe he's not at all. Maybe this man does not like basketball at all. Would that make this more or less weird?
Is this person making fun of gay voice? Are these videos homophobic? Or is this person making fun of people who don't speak English as their first language? Are these videos xenophobic? If you are a gay or a foreigner or a gay foreigner are you offended?
This is the second to last video. I'm not sure exactly what I've done in this post. Do you think I'm kind of strange myself now? Will my co-workers think I'm weird? More weird than whatever level of weird they may think I already am? Have I embarrassed myself? Does this count as a listical? I'm supposed to write more listicals. Should I rethink my life? What if I do and it leads to positive change and I only have the man who has made this videos to thank? What if this man is an agent of God who is meant to get my life back on track? Or maybe I'm doing just fine, actually. At least I'm not writing for Thought Catalog.
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