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| Sports |

Heat Stomp Bulls 115-78, Even Series

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Back up in your ass with the resurrection, Chicago. The Miami Heat got some sweet revenge Wednesday night beating the Bulls 115-78 -- their worst ever playoff defeat, and at the same time the Heat's all-time biggest playoff win -- so that went well. Miami shot 50 percent from three point land and 60 percent total against a team that prides itself on defense, while holding the Bulls to just 35 percent on 27-76 shooting, obviously a recipe for success.

Ray Allen led all scorers with 21 while LeBron added 19, both playing limited minutes with the game in hand mid-way through the third. Norris Cole had a huge impact on the game both on the defensive end and on the offensive end, where he drained all four threes he took on the way to 18 points. Bosh and Wade combined for 28 points, most coming on dunks in the furious third quarter that blew the game wide open.

Game 2 looked eerily similar to Game 1 early on with the Heat consistently getting up three to five points, only to see the Bulls hit a long three to cut the deficit to a one possession game. Miami led by just five after the first period, and it seemed like Heat fans were in store for another ass-puckering, drama filled finish -- yeah, that didn't happen.

The Heat lead 42-38 with 3:42 to go in the first half, then they went on your standard 62-20 run to go up 46. Tits train next stop boobs town. The Bulls, displeased with learning who their real daddy is, proceeded to completely lose their ever-loving shit, racking up six technical fouls and two ejections before it was all said and done.

The consensus strategy seems to be "rough up Miami and hope they lose their cool and possibly their rhythm." Myth. Busted. All Chicago did with its 27 fouls was give the Heat 29 free throws, not a good idea for a team that is relying on Nate Robinson 37 foot three pointers for offense. When Miami had finally had enough of the abuse, they sent in Chris "Birdman" Andersen to separate the thugs from the studio gangstas, and he quickly got his own technical, but the fight back was well worth the punishment, if you ask me.

What is most amazing is the Heat played nowhere near their best. Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh started off completely cold from the field, but watched as Ray Allen, Shane Battier, Norris Cole, and LeBron James held it down. On this night, Miami wouldn't need Wade and Bosh to be perfect, as they had six men in double figures on their way to three straight 30-point quarters to end the game.

Miami now heads to Chicago looking to steal back home-court advantage with a win either Friday or Monday night. If the Heat can replicate the formula they used Wednesday night, that shouldn't be a problem. Come get you some, Derrick Rose.

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