Florida's Ten Worst High-School Mascots

Ah, high school -- easier times for most of us. Our daily concerns back then seem so insignificant now. Your biggest worry was making sure you weren't bored and somehow stayed awake through terrible classes. Also, most things that were hilarious back then don't seem so funny anymore.

Our compilation of Florida's ten worst high-school mascots is not one of those things, however. These are real mascots that range from ridiculous to asinine to downright not intimidating. Some of these schools must have good reasons for their choices, but that won't stop us from laughing about it.

10. The Conchs -- Key West High School

Let's begin with pointing out the obvious fact that being "the Conchs" is not exactly the greatest brag at a track meet. Conchs are sea snails. Is there anyone afraid of a snail? You could bury me in a roomful of snails, and my worst problem would be that it smells like ass in there. Leave me in said room for a week, and you would return to find I ate the shit out of them and I'm just fine. You know why I was able to kill them all? Because they can't even defend themselves. If you are something I can pick up and punt into the ocean, you are not intimidating; you're a rock with a booger inside.

9. The Ambassadors -- Broward Christian High School

"Hey, man, you don't want to sack me. Let's talk this out." Nothing like being named for a nonviolent person with "ass" right there in the word. KICK THEIR ASS, AMBASS... uhh... dors!" I'm sure there is some sort of history behind this, but for now they just sound like a bunch of guys who keep score, not dominate on the playing field. WE KEEP SCORE! WE TALK IT OUT!

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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.

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