Flotsam

Florida's School Children Refuse To Get Naked and Wet In Front of Each Other

The Sun-Sentinel ran a 1,000 word piece on why Florida's school kids no longer shower after gym practice. Which seems insane, and we're not sure it actually qualifies as "news" or an issue needing 1,000 words dedicated to it. And yet it did answer at least one burning question for us: Why do all teenage boys reek of that gross body spray shit from the drug store?

Do we smell a Pulitzer? No, just some sweaty teens. (They smell about the same.)


All middle and high schools in Florida that offer physical education classes are by law required to have shower facilities in their locker rooms. Yet, most PE coaches say its been years since any kid actually used the shower.

Even in an age of rampant sexting, school kids are too embarrassed to strip down and hit the showers together. The fact that most schools don't offer separate stalls, much time between classes, or towel service doesn't help.

Florida is pretty hot and humid most times of the year, and even if you're not taking part in gym class you can work up a sweat just by stepping outside. Which means most teens go through the rest of the day after gym class smelling rank.

Though, apparently girls prefer dousing themselves in perfume, while boys take an impromptu shower in the mist of things like Axe and Bod body sprays (which coincidentally also smell pretty rank).

It's not just smell that's a problem, but health and hygiene. Some worry that skipping showers could lead to the spread of diseases like MRSA. Though, some schools and athletic booster programs in the state are now offering kids giant baby wipes to remove the sweat.

So, there, thank you Sun-Sentinel, all of the questions we didn't even know we had about high school locker rooms have been answered.

[SunSent: Shower stalls stay dry at most public schools]

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder