There's really not that many great excuses the police are going to buy after they catch you trying to break into a hotel. Sure, running away from zombies might be a good example; that is if zombies actually existed. Unfortunately, for David Allen Jensen, they don't, and he found himself behind bars.
The 41-year-old homeless man was spotted outside the Hilton St. Petersburg Bayfront Hotel early yesterday morning. A security guard noticed that he was trying to get into several cars, and eventually succeeded in getting into a 1991 yellow Mercedes, according to The Tampa Bay Times.
Though, by the time the security guard called police and the time they arrived, Jensen had found a donut-sized chunk of concrete used to protect sprinkler heads and launched it through a pane of glass outside the hotel.
Jensen tried to explain himself by saying that zombies were chasing him and he desperately needed to get into the hotel to get away from them. Police apparently could find no evidence of zombies and arrested him on charges of burglary and throwing a deadly missile into a building. He eventually fessed up that he was trying to get into the cars to find tobacco.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.