Well, the numbers are in. We got… um, 8 points out of a possible hundred from the Brady Campaign to Stop Gun Violence.
Which is probably making a lot of you out there really happy because you fucking hate them and would like nothing more than to unload all of your various weapons into the belly of the already-paralyzed Jim Brady.
After all, you live in Florida: the eight point state.
(Texas got nine points).
I like my guns too, people. But I don’t want them purchased at gun shows by crazy people and criminals. I don’t have a problem with the ATF knowing where my guns are because I’m not insane and don’t believe that a black helicopter will land on my roof in the middle of the night and federal agents will slide down my chimney to raid my safe.
Under the Clinton (sorry to use the C-word) administration the ATF was able to pull records and track the sale of most crime guns to just 1% of gun dealers. They named ‘em and put them out there (there were two offenders in Miami).
But those records are now top secret. And the ATF can’t really do a whole lot of anything about it anymore. Which is great. I’m sure my unregistered handgun will really come in handy when the US military takes over everything. Thanks gun lobby.
I know all the hullabaloo over the “assault weapons” ban pissed a lot of you off because it wasn’t really an assault weapons ban (it was just a ban on a certain combination of accessories and features).
But the housing market has burst and it looks like we’re headed for a recession. Miami is getting poorer and more heavily armed. Even the cops out there are scared out of their minds –and if they’re not, they should be.
It’s gonna get real ugly around here kiddies, real fast.
So let’s all just watch this and have a laugh. -- Calvin Godfrey